Traumatic Events

One time when I was a young innocent 14 year old we had a water fight for mutual. We were at our church, and the whole stake was involved. I was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, gleefully running around splashing people, with absolutely no idea of the horrors that were in store for me. I was wearing flip-flops at first, but they got really slippery when they were wet so I just took them off, foolishly thinking I would be fine.

I went over to the big bucket to fill up my water gun when I stepped on something that was strangely squishy. You know how when you hold water balloons you can feel all the water rolling around inside? That's how this felt, but it didn't burst like a water balloon would if you stepped on it, and it was fuzzy. I looked down and saw something dark on the ground. I took a couple seconds trying to figure out what it was when I suddenly realized it was a dead bird. GUYS. I STEPPED ON A DEAD BIRD WITH MY BARE FOOT! It was possibly the most traumatic experience of my life! There were definitely worms in it! And my bare skin had just been on it. Not even a slight brush, but a good long while with all my weight on it. Just thinking about it makes me want to cut my foot off.

I freaked out, as any rational person would do, and dumped the entire bucket of water on my foot. I then hopped into the church to find my dad in the clerk's office and make him take me home. I got home and screamed something about dead birds as I hopped through the house to the bathroom. My poor mother had no idea what was going on, but when I explained what had happened she was much more sympathetic. And then she made me mop the kitchen floor because I had hopped through it with my dirty feet.

Apparently this horrible experience wasn't traumatic enough to make me not go barefoot in public places, because a few years later I stepped on something mysterious in a park and got a foot infection.