So Jonathan got a super cool award recently for best potluck inspector. I, on the other hand, got a super cool award for best message giver. I gave Josh the message to call Jonathan to practice German, so Jonathan sent me a certificate for best message giver. See how awesome it is? And I actually don't have all that much more to say on this subject. I promised Jonathan I would write a blog on it, though.
Speaking of awards I have recently received, my cousin Sarah said I get a trophy for best cousin ever. I haven't gotten it yet. I worked so hard for it though! I had to look up all this stuff in my AP European history textbook, and it wasn't even stuff you could find in the index, because it was stuff like, "Come up with 5 examples of how religion dominated life during the time of the Reformation." She had forgotten her textbook at school, so I had to do it for her. Aren't I just the bestest ever? Yeah. I know I am.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
My Super Exciting (but really not) Life!
Once Upon A Time there was a girl named Kristina. This girl got a cold. This cold proceeded to ruin her life. She lost her voice for a while, got it back, then got congested and gross, and then was all runny nose-y AND kept coughing. It was terrible. The End
Moral of the Story: Colds are the worst. They should all go die. They're ruining my life! For example, I just got a call asking me to sing the national anthem at the football game tomorrow, but I can't. I'd probably break out coughing or something in the middle of the song if I tried. Or, more likely, I just wouldn't be able to hit the high notes and would sound hideous. The reason they called is because in chorale they sent around some sign-up list for people who would be willing to sing it at games and stuff, because they figured if we're good enough to be in chorale we're good enough to sing at a game.
In other news of exciting stuff I got asked today, I also got asked on my first date! And I shall keep tantalizingly quiet about the rest, mwahaha! Call me if you want to hear the details. Actually, they wouldn't be very specific details, considering that I'm still not sure what we're doing, and we haven't quite figured out when it is. It's a group date, and no one can seem to agree on a time. But still, you could hear the details of how I got asked! Which actually really isn't all that exciting, but whatever. So yeah, that's my life!
Moral of the Story: Colds are the worst. They should all go die. They're ruining my life! For example, I just got a call asking me to sing the national anthem at the football game tomorrow, but I can't. I'd probably break out coughing or something in the middle of the song if I tried. Or, more likely, I just wouldn't be able to hit the high notes and would sound hideous. The reason they called is because in chorale they sent around some sign-up list for people who would be willing to sing it at games and stuff, because they figured if we're good enough to be in chorale we're good enough to sing at a game.
In other news of exciting stuff I got asked today, I also got asked on my first date! And I shall keep tantalizingly quiet about the rest, mwahaha! Call me if you want to hear the details. Actually, they wouldn't be very specific details, considering that I'm still not sure what we're doing, and we haven't quite figured out when it is. It's a group date, and no one can seem to agree on a time. But still, you could hear the details of how I got asked! Which actually really isn't all that exciting, but whatever. So yeah, that's my life!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Storytime!
"Once Upon A Time there lived a beautiful princess. She had pitch black hair, ruby red lips, and skin white as snow. Everyone called her Snow White because of this skin. One day her evil stepmother, the Queen, poisoned her with a poisoned apple. Snow White was sent into a deep sleep that could only be broken by True Love's Kiss. We, the 7 dwarfs, placed her in a glass tomb, so one day when Prince Charming came he would see her beauty and kiss her. He never came. His horse twisted an ankle, so he never went out troll hunting that week, so he never heard our crying, so he never went towards it, so he never chanced upon us and kissed Snow White. We put an enchantment on her tomb so that she wouldn't grow any older, but by now I doubt that a prince will ever come for her! It's been 500 years since that fateful day, and princes these days are wusses. All they do is sit around writing new laws. "Bla bla this, bla bla that. Bla bla all dwarfs must be at the maximum 3 feet 3 inches tall, or they merely classify as vertically challenged humans, bla bla bla." Government these days!"
"Wow, Grandpa, were you really one of the original 7 dwarfs?"
"Yes, I was, but fat lot of good it did me. And don't tell me to be happy that at least I had the experience; my name is Grumpy! Happiness isn't in the job description. I'm the last surviving of the original 7 dwarfs, and I'm on my deathbed! There's no hope for Snow White now. Except that stupid old quest they speak of..."
"What quest, Grandpa, what quest, what quest?"
"Calm down, Burpy! There's some supposed quest for these weird ingredients like powdered hens teeth and snake toenails, and if you find them all and combine them and force feed the princess, she'll come back to consciousness."
Soon after this conversation, Grumpy died. Burpy was now the only dwarf who knew of this mythical quest to to synthesize true love's kiss. Or at least the only one willing to do anything about it. He set out right away, because if he could be the one to somehow awaken Snow White, he would get fame and fortune! Well, maybe (probably) not fortune, and only fame in the dwarfing world, but hey, he would take what he could get. And maybe, just maybe, they would restart the tradition of having kings, and he would be King! That would show all those people who said he would never have any friends. Just because mining wasn't his favorite, and OK, maybe he had once or twice mistaken common cave crystals for diamonds, but still! That was no excuse to say he was descended from Dopey! Young dwarfs could be so cruel sometimes! OK, old dwarfs could be cruel, too. Burpy just couldn't understand why they were all cruel to him in particular, though.
After gathering his provisions and setting out on the journey, Burpy realized he had forgotten any food. Sure, he had remembered his pick-axe, sure he had remembered a shovel, and sure he had remembered his Guidebook to Indigenous Rocks, Minerals, and Jewels, by H.C.C. Roberts, PhD, but he had forgotten food. It would be far too humiliating to go back to the dwarf colony and get some, because he had sworn he wouldn't go back till he had all the ingredients he needed. And they seemed so happy that he was going to find the important ingredients, they had even thrown a celebration in his honor! He couldn't understand what that conversation he had heard some of other dwarfs having was about, though. They had said something along the lines of, "...really stupid enough to think he'll find them? Who's he kidding? He'll probably fall down a hole and die of claustrophobia. Good riddance...Don't even think he's a real dwarf. There have been rumors that he's 3 feet 4 inches tall. That classifies as a vertically challenged human..." They must have been talking about some other dwarf going on a quest, Burpy decided. Because he totally wasn't 3'4''. Maybe 3 feet and 3 and a half inches, but that was a family secret! No one knew about that! Anyways, he certainly couldn't go back to the dwarf village to get food, so he had to go to a human village! Oh the horror!
As Burpy walked into the human village, called Wode-on-the-Wall, he got his first glimpse of a real live human. They were HUGE! And none of them were carrying pick-axes or shovels or anything of the sort! And their clothes didn't have any dirt on them or anything! These humans certainly were strange. He was walking along distractedly when he waled into two trees growing right next to each other. Holy smokes, those weren't trees, they were legs! Surely this must be a giant instead of a human! And giants eat dwarfs! Burpy started running as fast as he could in the opposite direction, but alas, to no avail. The giant caught up with him. But wait a second, weren't giants supposed to yell "Fee Fi Fo Fum" or something like that? And this creature certainly wasn't doing that. Was it, could it possibly be...a human? It was! Thank goodness. Burpy wasn't ready to die. After all, he hadn't even become king yet!
Burpy found out that the human, named Neil, was just as curious about dwarfs as he was about humans. They started talking, and Burpy found out that Neil was a carpenter. He had a big leather apron covered in sawdust, a big sandy colored beard covered in sawdust, and big leather boots covered in sawdust. It made Burpy sneeze. Despite this, he soon found himself pouring out all his insecurities and problems and everything about his quest to Neil, who seemed to exude calmness and understanding. Neil seemed interested in the quest, and decided he would help, because carpentry was a dying job, what with iron-work being all the rage nowadays, so he had nothing much better to do. His only qualification was that he had to go see this princess who he would be spending years of his life trying to save.
Burpy reluctantly took Neil to the dwarf village, and they snuck in during the dead of night, their only light coming from some of the special glowing cave slime that was to be found all around the mines. As soon as Neil saw Snow White in this eerie green glow, he fell madly in love with her, and rushed to the tomb. Burpy tried to stop him, but how was he to stop 250 pounds of pure muscle (not to mention those other pounds of fat). Neil easily lifted the glass dome off the tomb and kissed Snow White on impulse. At first nothing seemed to happen. Burpy, who had been holding his breath in anticipation, let it out and said irritably, "Well that was stupid. Nothing happened!" His speech seemed to break the spell. Snow White's eyelids fluttered. Then, miracle of miracles, she woke up!
"Wow, Grandpa, were you really one of the original 7 dwarfs?"
"Yes, I was, but fat lot of good it did me. And don't tell me to be happy that at least I had the experience; my name is Grumpy! Happiness isn't in the job description. I'm the last surviving of the original 7 dwarfs, and I'm on my deathbed! There's no hope for Snow White now. Except that stupid old quest they speak of..."
"What quest, Grandpa, what quest, what quest?"
"Calm down, Burpy! There's some supposed quest for these weird ingredients like powdered hens teeth and snake toenails, and if you find them all and combine them and force feed the princess, she'll come back to consciousness."
***
Soon after this conversation, Grumpy died. Burpy was now the only dwarf who knew of this mythical quest to to synthesize true love's kiss. Or at least the only one willing to do anything about it. He set out right away, because if he could be the one to somehow awaken Snow White, he would get fame and fortune! Well, maybe (probably) not fortune, and only fame in the dwarfing world, but hey, he would take what he could get. And maybe, just maybe, they would restart the tradition of having kings, and he would be King! That would show all those people who said he would never have any friends. Just because mining wasn't his favorite, and OK, maybe he had once or twice mistaken common cave crystals for diamonds, but still! That was no excuse to say he was descended from Dopey! Young dwarfs could be so cruel sometimes! OK, old dwarfs could be cruel, too. Burpy just couldn't understand why they were all cruel to him in particular, though.
After gathering his provisions and setting out on the journey, Burpy realized he had forgotten any food. Sure, he had remembered his pick-axe, sure he had remembered a shovel, and sure he had remembered his Guidebook to Indigenous Rocks, Minerals, and Jewels, by H.C.C. Roberts, PhD, but he had forgotten food. It would be far too humiliating to go back to the dwarf colony and get some, because he had sworn he wouldn't go back till he had all the ingredients he needed. And they seemed so happy that he was going to find the important ingredients, they had even thrown a celebration in his honor! He couldn't understand what that conversation he had heard some of other dwarfs having was about, though. They had said something along the lines of, "...really stupid enough to think he'll find them? Who's he kidding? He'll probably fall down a hole and die of claustrophobia. Good riddance...Don't even think he's a real dwarf. There have been rumors that he's 3 feet 4 inches tall. That classifies as a vertically challenged human..." They must have been talking about some other dwarf going on a quest, Burpy decided. Because he totally wasn't 3'4''. Maybe 3 feet and 3 and a half inches, but that was a family secret! No one knew about that! Anyways, he certainly couldn't go back to the dwarf village to get food, so he had to go to a human village! Oh the horror!
As Burpy walked into the human village, called Wode-on-the-Wall, he got his first glimpse of a real live human. They were HUGE! And none of them were carrying pick-axes or shovels or anything of the sort! And their clothes didn't have any dirt on them or anything! These humans certainly were strange. He was walking along distractedly when he waled into two trees growing right next to each other. Holy smokes, those weren't trees, they were legs! Surely this must be a giant instead of a human! And giants eat dwarfs! Burpy started running as fast as he could in the opposite direction, but alas, to no avail. The giant caught up with him. But wait a second, weren't giants supposed to yell "Fee Fi Fo Fum" or something like that? And this creature certainly wasn't doing that. Was it, could it possibly be...a human? It was! Thank goodness. Burpy wasn't ready to die. After all, he hadn't even become king yet!
Burpy found out that the human, named Neil, was just as curious about dwarfs as he was about humans. They started talking, and Burpy found out that Neil was a carpenter. He had a big leather apron covered in sawdust, a big sandy colored beard covered in sawdust, and big leather boots covered in sawdust. It made Burpy sneeze. Despite this, he soon found himself pouring out all his insecurities and problems and everything about his quest to Neil, who seemed to exude calmness and understanding. Neil seemed interested in the quest, and decided he would help, because carpentry was a dying job, what with iron-work being all the rage nowadays, so he had nothing much better to do. His only qualification was that he had to go see this princess who he would be spending years of his life trying to save.
Burpy reluctantly took Neil to the dwarf village, and they snuck in during the dead of night, their only light coming from some of the special glowing cave slime that was to be found all around the mines. As soon as Neil saw Snow White in this eerie green glow, he fell madly in love with her, and rushed to the tomb. Burpy tried to stop him, but how was he to stop 250 pounds of pure muscle (not to mention those other pounds of fat). Neil easily lifted the glass dome off the tomb and kissed Snow White on impulse. At first nothing seemed to happen. Burpy, who had been holding his breath in anticipation, let it out and said irritably, "Well that was stupid. Nothing happened!" His speech seemed to break the spell. Snow White's eyelids fluttered. Then, miracle of miracles, she woke up!
***
Though at first disappointed that her true love was a measly carpenter, Snow White grew to love Neil. They got married and moved to a bigger village than Wode-on-the-Wall. Together they started a company manufacturing glass shoes, little knowing that one day one of their shoes would belong to a princess! But that's a different story.
As for Burpy, he never did become king. Because Snow Whiter had awakened during the middle of the night, and nobody was there to see it except for Burpy, nobody believed his story. They all wondered what had happened to Snow White, though, because she certainly wasn't in her glass tomb anymore. But it couldn't have had anything to do with Burpy. After all, he had to use a guidebook written by a human just to identify common rocks, minerals, and jewels! Obviously he couldn't have helped rescue Snow White from her deep sleep. However, he absolutely was not suited to mining, so finally, just to get rid of him, they appointed him ambassador to the humans. It was a job Burpy loved till his dying day.
As for Burpy, he never did become king. Because Snow Whiter had awakened during the middle of the night, and nobody was there to see it except for Burpy, nobody believed his story. They all wondered what had happened to Snow White, though, because she certainly wasn't in her glass tomb anymore. But it couldn't have had anything to do with Burpy. After all, he had to use a guidebook written by a human just to identify common rocks, minerals, and jewels! Obviously he couldn't have helped rescue Snow White from her deep sleep. However, he absolutely was not suited to mining, so finally, just to get rid of him, they appointed him ambassador to the humans. It was a job Burpy loved till his dying day.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Letters
Dear Facebook,
You steal far too much of my time. It's not very nice. Especially when I have homework. Especially when I get in trouble for being on it when I'm supposed to be doing homework. But that's OK, I forgive you. After all, you make my stalking so much easier! I mean, uh...me? Stalking? NEVER!
Love, Kristina
Dear Sore Throat,
It's not very kind of you to be hurting me. I guess the only silver lining is at least you've finally decided to give me my voice back. I appreciate it quite a lot. And I promise if you only stop hurting I'll love you forever! I'll feed you delicious food and everything! Pinky promise.
Love, Kristina
Dear School,
I appreciate it ever so much that you're having a late start day on Monday. This brings joy and happiness and sunshine and bubbles and flowers to my life. Basically it's the greatest thing. Ever. Not just since converse, not just since gelato. Since forever. Well, OK, let's face it, converse and gelato are hard to beat. But you come close! Yup, THAT'S how great you are.
Love Kristina
Dear Self,
This blog post is rather pointless. You might want to not publish it. Nah. Let's share our craziness with the world! Goooood plan. And besides, it's only family who reads it anyways. They already know I have...problems. :) And even if a prospective husband DOES read it, at least it goes with the old saying about if they can't take me at my worst they don't deserve me at my best? Right? And you may say it's ridiculous to be talking about husbands already. And you would be right. Luckily, ridiculous is MY middle name! Just kidding. It's actually Octavia. Just kidding. It actually doesn't exist. Whatever. Same diff.
Love, Kristina
You steal far too much of my time. It's not very nice. Especially when I have homework. Especially when I get in trouble for being on it when I'm supposed to be doing homework. But that's OK, I forgive you. After all, you make my stalking so much easier! I mean, uh...me? Stalking? NEVER!
Love, Kristina
Dear Sore Throat,
It's not very kind of you to be hurting me. I guess the only silver lining is at least you've finally decided to give me my voice back. I appreciate it quite a lot. And I promise if you only stop hurting I'll love you forever! I'll feed you delicious food and everything! Pinky promise.
Love, Kristina
Dear School,
I appreciate it ever so much that you're having a late start day on Monday. This brings joy and happiness and sunshine and bubbles and flowers to my life. Basically it's the greatest thing. Ever. Not just since converse, not just since gelato. Since forever. Well, OK, let's face it, converse and gelato are hard to beat. But you come close! Yup, THAT'S how great you are.
Love Kristina
Dear Self,
This blog post is rather pointless. You might want to not publish it. Nah. Let's share our craziness with the world! Goooood plan. And besides, it's only family who reads it anyways. They already know I have...problems. :) And even if a prospective husband DOES read it, at least it goes with the old saying about if they can't take me at my worst they don't deserve me at my best? Right? And you may say it's ridiculous to be talking about husbands already. And you would be right. Luckily, ridiculous is MY middle name! Just kidding. It's actually Octavia. Just kidding. It actually doesn't exist. Whatever. Same diff.
Love, Kristina
Friday, September 3, 2010
News Update
Has anyone else noticed that news is really depressing? It's all about murders and stuff. It makes me want to go cry every time I hear it. Anyways, on that note, here's a news update my week! I shall try my very hardest to make it happy.
This week I was not mugged.
I did not get bitten by a dog this week. This imaginary bite did not become infected, nor was it a terribly deep bite. I did not have to go to the hospital for said imaginary bite.
I had no tests this week. Unfortunately, I did have quizzes. Fortunately, I did well on all of them. Unfortunately, I also had homework. Fortunately, it was easy (ish).
I did not read about Dobby's death this week. My sister did. She cried. I did neither.
This week I did not wake up and find out I had turned into a bug in my sleep. Nor did I wake up and realize I was a dead bug, because I had turned into a bug in my sleep, and then somebody had killed me with pesticide. No, I was fortunate enough to escape these tragedies.
I did not suddenly gain 100 pounds and get ridiculed for being obese.
None of my family members killed someone with an axe this week and then went into delirium about it, and my mother did not eventually die of grief because of this imaginary murder.
I was not given cookies that had ranch dressing in them.
I WAS given delicious homemade cookies, with the chocolate chips all wonderful and warm and gooey and melty.
I got lots of compliments on a dress I wore to school this week.
I had an awesome shoe party with someone in a'capella, because both of us were complimented on our shoes, proving their awesomeness. Mine were red, hers were sparkly silver converse.
I got my student ID today, and I don't look hideous in it.
This week I got to listen to my history teacher ramble about various things in a most amusing fashion, because she was sleep deprived and drugged up.
This week I got a name tag thingie, and instead of boring dots over the I's, it had stars dotting them!
I ate the most amazing homemade pizza I have ever tasted in my life this week.
I got to meet the students I'm helping to peer tutor in special ed seminary, and they are so sweet and adorable and I'm so excited! :)
This week I was not mugged.
I did not get bitten by a dog this week. This imaginary bite did not become infected, nor was it a terribly deep bite. I did not have to go to the hospital for said imaginary bite.
I had no tests this week. Unfortunately, I did have quizzes. Fortunately, I did well on all of them. Unfortunately, I also had homework. Fortunately, it was easy (ish).
I did not read about Dobby's death this week. My sister did. She cried. I did neither.
This week I did not wake up and find out I had turned into a bug in my sleep. Nor did I wake up and realize I was a dead bug, because I had turned into a bug in my sleep, and then somebody had killed me with pesticide. No, I was fortunate enough to escape these tragedies.
I did not suddenly gain 100 pounds and get ridiculed for being obese.
None of my family members killed someone with an axe this week and then went into delirium about it, and my mother did not eventually die of grief because of this imaginary murder.
I was not given cookies that had ranch dressing in them.
I WAS given delicious homemade cookies, with the chocolate chips all wonderful and warm and gooey and melty.
I got lots of compliments on a dress I wore to school this week.
I had an awesome shoe party with someone in a'capella, because both of us were complimented on our shoes, proving their awesomeness. Mine were red, hers were sparkly silver converse.
I got my student ID today, and I don't look hideous in it.
This week I got to listen to my history teacher ramble about various things in a most amusing fashion, because she was sleep deprived and drugged up.
This week I got a name tag thingie, and instead of boring dots over the I's, it had stars dotting them!
I ate the most amazing homemade pizza I have ever tasted in my life this week.
I got to meet the students I'm helping to peer tutor in special ed seminary, and they are so sweet and adorable and I'm so excited! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)