My plan of telling everyone ever to bring me cookies/brownies/some other delicious baked good is working!
Yesterday some of my friends brought by a plate of brownies with an awesome note. Apparently they dropped it off on our porch, then ninja rolled behind their car so we wouldn't see them when we came to the door. But nobody came...and they were waiting...and nobody was answering the door...So they called out house to see if anyone was home. Nope. So they just left it there, assuming I'd find it when I got back from wherever I was (hanging out with family, if you really wanted to know.)
Little did they know, we use the front door very rarely. So, it sat there all afternoon (luckily, it was covered with tinfoil, so they didn't dry up or get swarmed by bugs or anything.)
Finally, at about 11:30 PM, my aunt and uncle showed up at our house to spend the night before going to the airport. All the rest of my family were in bed, so when they came, it was up to me to let them in. Let them in I did, and the first thing they said to me was, "This was on your porch." A plate of some sort of baked good, covered with tinfoil, with a note with my name on it. And under the tinfoil? Delicious, gooey brownies.
And this is why it pays to leave random notes on your friend's windshield. Especially if you follow it up with a long facebook conversation. Especially if you practically demand brownies in both the note and the facebook conversation.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Mmm...Cookies...
So the other day (Monday, I believe) I was walking home with one of my friends (let's call him...Mr X) after school, but instead of going straight home, we decided to walk to Trax first with some of our other friends. They got on their train, and we decided we had better walk back. Between the Trax station and the sidewalk, there's this little tiny road that takes like 2 seconds to cross, so we decided we might as well just jaywalk, because waiting for the light takes so dang long. I'm about to step out into the road when I think, "Oh, I might want to check to make sure no cars are coming..." Nope, no cars, but the train was. Obviously, because I'm writing this, I didn't jaywalk after all, because stepping out in front of a train sounds like a terrible idea. Anyways, Mr X didn't check the road, and was about to step out into it when I grabbed his arm and yelled, "Wait!" Luckily he did, and I didn't have to watch one of my best friends die a horrible death.
Anyways, after I saved his life, he shook my hand and said, "Wow, thanks, Kristina! I'm genuinely grateful. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" At first I said no, but he said, "No, really, is there anything I can do?" So I said, "Yes! Make me cookies, and drop them off on my porch one day (soon) when I'm not expecting it!" I had to add the "soon," because one of my other friends still owes me cookies from about 2 months ago (for getting me grounded for the first and second times in my entire life. But that's a different story.) Anyways, I was quite looking forward to the idea of homemade cookies, especially if they're hand delivered to my house.
Cut to Thursday night. I had just had the worst day of my life, for no apparent reason; it was just all around awful. I was on facebook, talking to Mr X, when all of a sudden he says, "slug-bug blue PUNCH!" You see, we play the bingo and slug-bug game. The one where you hit each other for slug-bugs and yellow cars. (We also punch each other for purple flowers, but that's just because apparently we're violent children who like to hit things.) Anyways, I wondered why he would be saying that, and came to the conclusion that a blue slug-bug must have just driven by his house.
A couple minutes after this mysterious comment, the doorbell rings. It was about 10 PM, and my mom was sitting there in her pajamas. She basically goes and hides somewhere no one will see her and says, "Who's ringing the doorbell at this time of night?! John, go answer the door, and get rid of them fast." So, my brother answers the door and says, "It's just a plate of cookies..." I go running to the door screaming, "It's for meeeee!!!" Mmm. Mr X made me cookies as per our agreement, and they were still warm, and the chocolate chips were all gooey. And on the side of the plate, there was a little blue toy slug-bug.
And that, my friends, is why it always pays off to save people's lives.
Anyways, after I saved his life, he shook my hand and said, "Wow, thanks, Kristina! I'm genuinely grateful. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" At first I said no, but he said, "No, really, is there anything I can do?" So I said, "Yes! Make me cookies, and drop them off on my porch one day (soon) when I'm not expecting it!" I had to add the "soon," because one of my other friends still owes me cookies from about 2 months ago (for getting me grounded for the first and second times in my entire life. But that's a different story.) Anyways, I was quite looking forward to the idea of homemade cookies, especially if they're hand delivered to my house.
Cut to Thursday night. I had just had the worst day of my life, for no apparent reason; it was just all around awful. I was on facebook, talking to Mr X, when all of a sudden he says, "slug-bug blue PUNCH!" You see, we play the bingo and slug-bug game. The one where you hit each other for slug-bugs and yellow cars. (We also punch each other for purple flowers, but that's just because apparently we're violent children who like to hit things.) Anyways, I wondered why he would be saying that, and came to the conclusion that a blue slug-bug must have just driven by his house.
A couple minutes after this mysterious comment, the doorbell rings. It was about 10 PM, and my mom was sitting there in her pajamas. She basically goes and hides somewhere no one will see her and says, "Who's ringing the doorbell at this time of night?! John, go answer the door, and get rid of them fast." So, my brother answers the door and says, "It's just a plate of cookies..." I go running to the door screaming, "It's for meeeee!!!" Mmm. Mr X made me cookies as per our agreement, and they were still warm, and the chocolate chips were all gooey. And on the side of the plate, there was a little blue toy slug-bug.
And that, my friends, is why it always pays off to save people's lives.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Dear [insert name here]
Dear Weather,
Feel free to keep being sunny and loverly. I guess I might even forgive you for all the rain, because now at least everything is all green. And that's good. I approve of green mountains around my home. Almost as much as I approve of sunshine!
Hasta la Pasta, Kristina
Dear Homework,
Die, please. Better yet, have an epic battle to the death with tests, and end up killing each other! Good plan? Yeah, I think it is, too. You can start this epic battle any time now...
Cordially, Kristina
Dear Ears,
Thanks for not hurting too terribly much when you got stabbed. And now please don't get infected. For the record, I think you look lovely with sparkly earrings. Sparkles are always a good plan. Trust me.
XOXO, Kristina
Dear Pandora,
Not failing would be a good idea. Really. I don't know why, but you suddenly seem to have given up on working correctly. But I believe in you! Don't give up! You have so much to live for! Anytime you need to talk, I'll be here for you. Especially if by "talk" you mean, "play music."
Love, Kristina
Dear Bloggees*,
I hope you appreciate the fact that I've been blogging so much recently. I also hope that all is going well with you, and that you're appreciating the sunshine as much as I am. Oh yeah, and I also hope you don't get hit by a bus. (Some people may call this train of thought morbid, but I call it covering all my bases.)
Sincerely, Kristina
*I'm a blogger, so it follows that you're bloggees.
Feel free to keep being sunny and loverly. I guess I might even forgive you for all the rain, because now at least everything is all green. And that's good. I approve of green mountains around my home. Almost as much as I approve of sunshine!
Hasta la Pasta, Kristina
Dear Homework,
Die, please. Better yet, have an epic battle to the death with tests, and end up killing each other! Good plan? Yeah, I think it is, too. You can start this epic battle any time now...
Cordially, Kristina
Dear Ears,
Thanks for not hurting too terribly much when you got stabbed. And now please don't get infected. For the record, I think you look lovely with sparkly earrings. Sparkles are always a good plan. Trust me.
XOXO, Kristina
Dear Pandora,
Not failing would be a good idea. Really. I don't know why, but you suddenly seem to have given up on working correctly. But I believe in you! Don't give up! You have so much to live for! Anytime you need to talk, I'll be here for you. Especially if by "talk" you mean, "play music."
Love, Kristina
Dear Bloggees*,
I hope you appreciate the fact that I've been blogging so much recently. I also hope that all is going well with you, and that you're appreciating the sunshine as much as I am. Oh yeah, and I also hope you don't get hit by a bus. (Some people may call this train of thought morbid, but I call it covering all my bases.)
Sincerely, Kristina
*I'm a blogger, so it follows that you're bloggees.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Awwwww
"Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is not found only at the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arched across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, and neighbors! Love, like faith, is a gift of God. It is also the most enduring and most powerful virtue."
-Gordon B. Hinckley
Best quote ever? I'm pretty sure it is. How I love President Hinckley
Monday, May 16, 2011
Evil Bloodsucking Harbingers of DOOM!
Special Agent Yellow Otter to Houston. Come in, Houston. We have a problem here in Utah, over. There are evil bloodsucking monsters, over. They're coming for me! Aaaaiiiiaaauuuggggghhh--
There you have it, folks. Evil bloodsucking harbingers of doom. AKA mosquitoes. SUCH a problem! You may say, "But Kristina, they aren't that bad. Just use mosquito repellant sometimes, and you're good." No! I'm not! It doesn't matter how much mosquito repellant I use, they still find me. And suck my blood and make me itch and give me West Nile Virus.
Conversation between two mosquitoes, Sally and Betty.
Sally: How's it going, Betty? This whole eating for 12 thing is pretty hard, isn't it?
Betty: Yeah, these eggs are awful. But I found this great all-you-can-eat buffet!
Sally: Oh yeah, I think I've heard about it. It's called Kristina or something, right?
Betty: Mm-hmm. Last month it was rated most popular place for mosquitoes to eat in all of Utah.
Sally: Doesn't surprise me. I eat there all the time!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that conversation happens all the time. Stupid bloodsucking females. (That line would have worked so much better if I were a guy who had recently been dumped or something. Oh well. Instead I'll just be bitter against mosquitoes. In case you couldn't tell, I am).
There you have it, folks. Evil bloodsucking harbingers of doom. AKA mosquitoes. SUCH a problem! You may say, "But Kristina, they aren't that bad. Just use mosquito repellant sometimes, and you're good." No! I'm not! It doesn't matter how much mosquito repellant I use, they still find me. And suck my blood and make me itch and give me West Nile Virus.
Conversation between two mosquitoes, Sally and Betty.
Sally: How's it going, Betty? This whole eating for 12 thing is pretty hard, isn't it?
Betty: Yeah, these eggs are awful. But I found this great all-you-can-eat buffet!
Sally: Oh yeah, I think I've heard about it. It's called Kristina or something, right?
Betty: Mm-hmm. Last month it was rated most popular place for mosquitoes to eat in all of Utah.
Sally: Doesn't surprise me. I eat there all the time!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that conversation happens all the time. Stupid bloodsucking females. (That line would have worked so much better if I were a guy who had recently been dumped or something. Oh well. Instead I'll just be bitter against mosquitoes. In case you couldn't tell, I am).
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Sorry
Remember that one time I decided to post something every day for a week? And then I didn't? Yeah, sorry about that.
On Thursday, I really did try to post, but it said an error was occurring with Blogger, and I couldn't post anything. And yesterday, I had no time. I had to go to school, and then after school I hung out with people, and didn't get home till about 10:25 at night.
The good news is, I had a great time! We went to a park, and everyone else was playing football, but I was way too tired (and uncoordinated) for that, so instead I sat in a tree playing Boggle on a friend's phone. I like trees. And I like Boggle. It was a good combination. And then we went to somebody's house and randomly hung out there, and his dad made the best homemade pizza ever, and his mom made the best cookies ever. The chocolate chips were all gooey and delicious, and it was great. And then we watched a movie, and then some of the people decided to go to a stake dance, and some of us decided to go to another park, where we had heard there would be night games. So we went to my favorite park in the world and played night games. All in all, it was an awesome day. So no, I can't say I'm sorry for not posting yesterday. I'm sorry for not posting on Thursday, though.
Bad joke for Thursday: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud. (Alternate answer: an udder failure)
Bad joke for Friday: What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Bad joke for today: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
She wanted to get chocolate milk.
On Thursday, I really did try to post, but it said an error was occurring with Blogger, and I couldn't post anything. And yesterday, I had no time. I had to go to school, and then after school I hung out with people, and didn't get home till about 10:25 at night.
The good news is, I had a great time! We went to a park, and everyone else was playing football, but I was way too tired (and uncoordinated) for that, so instead I sat in a tree playing Boggle on a friend's phone. I like trees. And I like Boggle. It was a good combination. And then we went to somebody's house and randomly hung out there, and his dad made the best homemade pizza ever, and his mom made the best cookies ever. The chocolate chips were all gooey and delicious, and it was great. And then we watched a movie, and then some of the people decided to go to a stake dance, and some of us decided to go to another park, where we had heard there would be night games. So we went to my favorite park in the world and played night games. All in all, it was an awesome day. So no, I can't say I'm sorry for not posting yesterday. I'm sorry for not posting on Thursday, though.
Bad joke for Thursday: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud. (Alternate answer: an udder failure)
Bad joke for Friday: What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Bad joke for today: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
She wanted to get chocolate milk.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Dictionary Definitions
Awesome: (AH-sum) adj.
(1) My AP tests are done for this year.
(2) Watching Mulan in class.
(3) The grandma from Mulan.
(4) Hanging out at the library with friends who read children's books aloud to you (complete with voices for the characters).
(5) Pandora (the website, not the box).
(6) Amazing hugs from amazing people.
(7) Playing the piano.
(8) Having a picture of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger on your bedroom door.
(9) Kristina.
(10) Looking on the bright side even when you don't feel like it, and it actually ends up cheering you up.
Yep, these definitions are straight from good ol' Merriam Webster himself.
Bad joke for the day: Knock knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows don't go who, they go moo.
(1) My AP tests are done for this year.
(2) Watching Mulan in class.
(3) The grandma from Mulan.
(4) Hanging out at the library with friends who read children's books aloud to you (complete with voices for the characters).
(5) Pandora (the website, not the box).
(6) Amazing hugs from amazing people.
(7) Playing the piano.
(8) Having a picture of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger on your bedroom door.
(9) Kristina.
(10) Looking on the bright side even when you don't feel like it, and it actually ends up cheering you up.
Yep, these definitions are straight from good ol' Merriam Webster himself.
Bad joke for the day: Knock knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows don't go who, they go moo.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Antics of a Small Child
I was the coolest little kid ever, you guys. By which I mean, I've got no idea how my family put up with me.
For one thing, I was jealous of my little sister. Not because I thought my parents gave her more attention. Oh no. I was jealous that she had the best sister ever, and I was stuck with someone so mediocre. I thought, "How come I'm so awesome, and I'm stuck with someone not so awesome?" I lived a hard life.
Also, today as I was talking with one of my best friends, we wondered how we didn't know each other when we were little, because we grew up two blocks away from each other. My only memory of her when I was little was walking past her house every week during the summer, and getting all annoyed that there were always chalk drawings on the sidewalk. I mean, obviously, I'm the only one allowed to color with chalk on the sidewalk. What was she thinking?
Another fond childhood memory is going to the zoo and seeing the elephants. One day, an elephant stuck its trunk over the fence, so we all got to touch it. Unfortunately, when I tried to, it moved, so I ended up sticking my whole hand in its huge nostril. Naturally I didn't want elephant boogers all over my hand, so I tried to wipe it off on my mom, hoping she wouldn't notice what I was doing. She did.
There was also that one time (or quite a lot more than one) when I thought it was hilarious to jump on Rachel's back as she was laying on the floor doing homework. I always made sure to land knees first. That's the epitome of fun, right there.
I have this letter my neighbors wrote me when I was little. They say I was so cute when I danced around in my pink swimsuit singing the ABC's. Sounds like there's a story behind this...Either that or it was just an everyday occurrence.
Basically, you're all jealous that you couldn't be as awesome as I was when I was little. Don't try to deny it. You're probably still jealous of how awesome I am. And I'm jealous of you for having such a great person like me in your life.
Bad joke for the day: What's a cow's favorite subject in school?
Cowculus, moosic, and psycowlogy
For one thing, I was jealous of my little sister. Not because I thought my parents gave her more attention. Oh no. I was jealous that she had the best sister ever, and I was stuck with someone so mediocre. I thought, "How come I'm so awesome, and I'm stuck with someone not so awesome?" I lived a hard life.
Also, today as I was talking with one of my best friends, we wondered how we didn't know each other when we were little, because we grew up two blocks away from each other. My only memory of her when I was little was walking past her house every week during the summer, and getting all annoyed that there were always chalk drawings on the sidewalk. I mean, obviously, I'm the only one allowed to color with chalk on the sidewalk. What was she thinking?
Another fond childhood memory is going to the zoo and seeing the elephants. One day, an elephant stuck its trunk over the fence, so we all got to touch it. Unfortunately, when I tried to, it moved, so I ended up sticking my whole hand in its huge nostril. Naturally I didn't want elephant boogers all over my hand, so I tried to wipe it off on my mom, hoping she wouldn't notice what I was doing. She did.
There was also that one time (or quite a lot more than one) when I thought it was hilarious to jump on Rachel's back as she was laying on the floor doing homework. I always made sure to land knees first. That's the epitome of fun, right there.
I have this letter my neighbors wrote me when I was little. They say I was so cute when I danced around in my pink swimsuit singing the ABC's. Sounds like there's a story behind this...Either that or it was just an everyday occurrence.
Basically, you're all jealous that you couldn't be as awesome as I was when I was little. Don't try to deny it. You're probably still jealous of how awesome I am. And I'm jealous of you for having such a great person like me in your life.
Bad joke for the day: What's a cow's favorite subject in school?
Cowculus, moosic, and psycowlogy
Monday, May 9, 2011
10 Things About the Lovely Kristina
1. Tan lines. Can't stand 'em. Unfortunately, I get them suuuper easily, because I tan really fast.
2. As long as I'm around, you don't need mosquito repellant. I'll bravely sacrifice myself to protect you!
3. I never ever paint my fingernails, but my toenails are always painted all the time. Always.
4. I hate the sound of styrofoam rubbing against styrofoam. It's ten million times worse than nails on a chalkboard!
5. I can't sleep on moving vehicles.
6. I make wishes all the time, and say thank you every time, just in case it happens.
7. According to my oh so kind little sister, I'm an English major freak just waiting to happen.
8. I got glasses in 2nd grade, but my eyes haven't really gotten significantly worse since then.
9. I sing in the rain, yo!
10. I had come up with something actually clever to blog about today, but completely forgot it.
Now you can all consider yourselves informed on that brilliant, dazzling, amazing girl who writes this blog.
Bad joke for the day: What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
2. As long as I'm around, you don't need mosquito repellant. I'll bravely sacrifice myself to protect you!
3. I never ever paint my fingernails, but my toenails are always painted all the time. Always.
4. I hate the sound of styrofoam rubbing against styrofoam. It's ten million times worse than nails on a chalkboard!
5. I can't sleep on moving vehicles.
6. I make wishes all the time, and say thank you every time, just in case it happens.
7. According to my oh so kind little sister, I'm an English major freak just waiting to happen.
8. I got glasses in 2nd grade, but my eyes haven't really gotten significantly worse since then.
9. I sing in the rain, yo!
10. I had come up with something actually clever to blog about today, but completely forgot it.
Now you can all consider yourselves informed on that brilliant, dazzling, amazing girl who writes this blog.
Bad joke for the day: What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Goals and Whatnot
Goal for this week: Post something new every day
Reasons for said goal: I never post anything, and I should do that. After all, I'm so brilliantly smart and funny, and have such fantastic things to share with the world.
What you should expect: I dunno. Something amazing, I guess.
Bad joke for the day: What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
De-calfenated
Reasons for said goal: I never post anything, and I should do that. After all, I'm so brilliantly smart and funny, and have such fantastic things to share with the world.
What you should expect: I dunno. Something amazing, I guess.
Bad joke for the day: What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
De-calfenated
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
What is it with women and hair? Really it would save a lot of time and trouble if we were hairless creatures, much like those weird cats. (I was going to post a link to a picture of one of those gross sphinx cats that have no hair, but one of the pictures I looked at gave our computer a virus, and I don't want to post that on my blog to infect your computers. So just imagine one. Or look one up yourself)
Let me 'splain my reasoning. Women spend so much time and trouble on their hair. If we didn't have any, we wouldn't need to. First of all, there's shampooing the hair. Then conditioning it. Then blow drying it. Then brushing it. Then straightening/curling it. For some girls, they straighten their curly hair, then re-curl it, to get a different kind of curly. Then styling it. Then spraying ten pounds of hairspray all over it.
And don't even get me started on all the shaving/plucking/waxing.
You guys, I've decided. I'm moving to Memphis (Memphis is a good place to restart your life from) and I'm gonna turn into a sphinx. Consider this your goodbye if you never see me again.
Let me 'splain my reasoning. Women spend so much time and trouble on their hair. If we didn't have any, we wouldn't need to. First of all, there's shampooing the hair. Then conditioning it. Then blow drying it. Then brushing it. Then straightening/curling it. For some girls, they straighten their curly hair, then re-curl it, to get a different kind of curly. Then styling it. Then spraying ten pounds of hairspray all over it.
And don't even get me started on all the shaving/plucking/waxing.
You guys, I've decided. I'm moving to Memphis (Memphis is a good place to restart your life from) and I'm gonna turn into a sphinx. Consider this your goodbye if you never see me again.
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