So lately I've been reading my old journals. The really old ones. It's left me hoping desperately that I don't still sound like that in my journal, or I might just give up writing completely. I started my first one in the middle of fifth grade, and I'm pretty sure the only point of letting a fifth grader have a journal is so they can read it later and laugh while secretly trying to pretend that episode of life never happened. Probably that's what I should do with all my journals up till the end of 10th grade, actually. Maybe even later than that.
My first ever journal entry was me rebelliously stating I was going to stay up till midnight for New Year's Eve, even though I was supposed to go to bed. I don't know what my plan for it was; maybe watch the alarm clock change from 11:59 to 12:00, feel silently triumphant because I was supposed to be asleep, then crawl into bed? But it's a moot point, because I fell asleep around 10 anyways.
After this, I have several pages, divided up into several different entries, detailing why I thought a certain boy in my class liked me, and how gross that was. I said, "This is CRAZY! Why does he have to like me? Why can't he like someone else?" Secretly, even though I wouldn't even admit it in my own journal, that meant, "I'm so glad Jonathan likes me, because I like him, too! I sure hope he likes me!"
A typical journal entry about him went like this:
"I think Jonathan likes me. Hear are all the reasons.
1. He gave me a perfectly good pencil.
2. He talks to me a lot.
3. He's really nice to me.
4. He told me his worst fear (it's getting a shot) [After that, I pretended I was afraid of shots for a while, when I've always been fine with them.]
5. Sometimes it seems like he tries to impress me.
6. He doesn't like Christina [my best friend from elementary school] but he's nice to her when I'm around.
7. He helps me with stuff.
8. Once he was talking when I came over there and he said, 'Shh, she's here' and I was the only one in the pod.
9. He's really nice to me [Apparently that was important enough to be mentioned twice.]
10. He sits in front of me and keeps turning around to talk to me.
11. Once Christina saw him staring at me.
That's reason enough for me."
Other entries mentioned him in a more sneaky manner. My code name for him was Joanna, so a few entries mention Joanna, and how I had to write a short story for homework, so I did one about Joanna. Man, was I creepy or what?
One entry says, "New Jersey is my absolute favorite place, that and Wyoming definitely and Utah and Idaho. Specially Wyoming." There are so many problems with this entry. Number one being I only liked New Jersey because Jonathan visited there often. I think his grandparents lived there or something. Number two would be that I said, "specially," instead of "especially." Another problem is, I had the worst favorite places! Idaho? Really? I liked Wyoming because my grandma lives in Teton Valley, which is gorgeous, and I always have a good time up there, so that one at least is explainable. The only reason I even mentioned Utah and Idaho was because I felt obligated to, because I live in Utah and have lots of family in Idaho. And then there's New Jersey...Yeah, remember how creepy I was?
Probably after I got over Jonathan, I decided it was too embarrassing to have
written about him at all in my journal, so everything about him is crossed out, in
pencil, and is still completely legible. So much for my great fifth grade romance.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Crazy Customer of the Week
Because I work in a fast food restaurant, I encounter all sorts of crazy people. Or even people who are probably pretty normal, but just don't know how to order food. Or people who are just plain creepy. Because I need to do something to entertain myself at work (other than hanging out with my super awesome coworkers) (or should I say, cow-workers! Ahaha) (Get it? It's Chick-Fil-A, and we've got cows...never mind), I choose one person each week who's extra crazy, and mentally award them ,"Crazy Customer of the Week." There have been some pretty good ones. Well, depending on how you define "good"...
There was the girl who asked for three "melkshakes," then dumped a huge pile of quarters on the counter. As soon as she did, she started laughing really loudly and obnoxiously, and continued to do so the whole time I counted them. I went and made 3 shakes, and by the time I got back, she was still laughing. She walked away with her shakes, still laughing like this was the funniest thing she's ever done.
There was the balding guy in his forties or fifties who I don't think realized I was a minor, and flirted with me the whole time. I mean, it would still be creepy even if I wasn't a minor, because I'm still way younger than him, but really? It was just awful. And he had a complicated order, so it took a while to come out, and the whole time he was waiting, he lurked right by my register, and kept interrupting other customers to say things full of innuendo and creepiness. And when I asked for a name for the order, he said, "Kristina." I explained that I needed his name, not mine, because they would call it to give him his food, and he said, "Just put Kristina. I'll know who they mean."
I'm pretty sure one of the ladies who came in the other day was higher than a kite, and she kept asking to replace a kid's meal toy with some other type of food, like more nuggets.
Customer: "Hi...uh...can I get a kid's meal? But I want to replace the toy with more nuggets."
Me: "Do you just want to get a normal meal? Those don't have toys, and they come with more nuggets."
C: "No, I need a kid's meal...Can I get fruit?"
Me: "Instead of fries? Absolutely"
C: "No, I want both...Can I get fruit instead of the toy?"
Me: "No, fruit is only a side. If you don't want the toy, you can get ice cream instead."
C: "I get ice cream too? OK, I need that. And also fruit."
Me: "So you want to get fries in the kid's meal, and extra fruit on the side? And ice cream in place of the toy."
C: "No, I don't want to get anything extra...Can I just have fruit instead of the toy?"
Finally she talked to a manager, who told her the same things I'd been saying. I don't know what she ended up getting, but hopefully she got her fruit.
Then there was this super awkward guy, who came up and started talking to me by saying, "I was sitting in the food court, looking at your menu, and also sometimes you for entertainment. So I hope you weren't creeped out." In between slowly and ponderously giving me his order, he kept talking to me. He came in close to closing, so people were starting to sweep and mop the floor, and he literally talked for seven minutes straight about how we know the right way to clean floors, and how if he owned a restaurant the kitchen would be sparkling, and how kitchens at the U have cockroaches, and how he washes dishes for a living and it gets really old after 8 hours, but boy do we know the right way to clean, because look at that amazing mopping technique. Seven minutes! As soon as I took his order it went up on a screen with a timer, so that's an accurate time. And that turns out to be an eternity when you can't get a word in edgewise and are wondering if he's ever going to pay. There was a line, and they were all looking at him, then at me, then laughing or smiling sympathetically. I smiled back at them, because this whole situation was just ridiculous, but I think he thought I was responding to him, so it only encouraged him to keep talking for even longer. Those were possibly the worst seven minutes of my life.
Some customers just have odd ways of phrasing things. It's surprisingly common for them to say, "I need..." No, this is fast food, and I promise you, you don't need it. By all means, continue to eat here, because you're providing for my livelihood, but really, you don't need those fries and a shake. And somebody yesterday said, "I'm going to steal two water bottles," as he handed me his credit card. Obviously there was no stealing going on.
Another thing I've come to realize is there's a special voice for, "I'm reading your name off a tag, but also hitting on you." The only people who ever use my name are either parents with small children, or guys hitting on me. The difference is, "Thank you so much, Kristina. Can you tell Kristina thank you?" vs "Hey there...Kristina."
There was the girl who asked for three "melkshakes," then dumped a huge pile of quarters on the counter. As soon as she did, she started laughing really loudly and obnoxiously, and continued to do so the whole time I counted them. I went and made 3 shakes, and by the time I got back, she was still laughing. She walked away with her shakes, still laughing like this was the funniest thing she's ever done.
There was the balding guy in his forties or fifties who I don't think realized I was a minor, and flirted with me the whole time. I mean, it would still be creepy even if I wasn't a minor, because I'm still way younger than him, but really? It was just awful. And he had a complicated order, so it took a while to come out, and the whole time he was waiting, he lurked right by my register, and kept interrupting other customers to say things full of innuendo and creepiness. And when I asked for a name for the order, he said, "Kristina." I explained that I needed his name, not mine, because they would call it to give him his food, and he said, "Just put Kristina. I'll know who they mean."
I'm pretty sure one of the ladies who came in the other day was higher than a kite, and she kept asking to replace a kid's meal toy with some other type of food, like more nuggets.
Customer: "Hi...uh...can I get a kid's meal? But I want to replace the toy with more nuggets."
Me: "Do you just want to get a normal meal? Those don't have toys, and they come with more nuggets."
C: "No, I need a kid's meal...Can I get fruit?"
Me: "Instead of fries? Absolutely"
C: "No, I want both...Can I get fruit instead of the toy?"
Me: "No, fruit is only a side. If you don't want the toy, you can get ice cream instead."
C: "I get ice cream too? OK, I need that. And also fruit."
Me: "So you want to get fries in the kid's meal, and extra fruit on the side? And ice cream in place of the toy."
C: "No, I don't want to get anything extra...Can I just have fruit instead of the toy?"
Finally she talked to a manager, who told her the same things I'd been saying. I don't know what she ended up getting, but hopefully she got her fruit.
Then there was this super awkward guy, who came up and started talking to me by saying, "I was sitting in the food court, looking at your menu, and also sometimes you for entertainment. So I hope you weren't creeped out." In between slowly and ponderously giving me his order, he kept talking to me. He came in close to closing, so people were starting to sweep and mop the floor, and he literally talked for seven minutes straight about how we know the right way to clean floors, and how if he owned a restaurant the kitchen would be sparkling, and how kitchens at the U have cockroaches, and how he washes dishes for a living and it gets really old after 8 hours, but boy do we know the right way to clean, because look at that amazing mopping technique. Seven minutes! As soon as I took his order it went up on a screen with a timer, so that's an accurate time. And that turns out to be an eternity when you can't get a word in edgewise and are wondering if he's ever going to pay. There was a line, and they were all looking at him, then at me, then laughing or smiling sympathetically. I smiled back at them, because this whole situation was just ridiculous, but I think he thought I was responding to him, so it only encouraged him to keep talking for even longer. Those were possibly the worst seven minutes of my life.
Some customers just have odd ways of phrasing things. It's surprisingly common for them to say, "I need..." No, this is fast food, and I promise you, you don't need it. By all means, continue to eat here, because you're providing for my livelihood, but really, you don't need those fries and a shake. And somebody yesterday said, "I'm going to steal two water bottles," as he handed me his credit card. Obviously there was no stealing going on.
Another thing I've come to realize is there's a special voice for, "I'm reading your name off a tag, but also hitting on you." The only people who ever use my name are either parents with small children, or guys hitting on me. The difference is, "Thank you so much, Kristina. Can you tell Kristina thank you?" vs "Hey there...Kristina."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)