Lions and Tigers and Bears (oh my!)

OK, actually giraffes. But same diff, right?

Jonathan gave me the idea of writing a blog about giraffes, since I did one about elephants. And since I realized I conveniently also had pictures of a baby giraffe, I decided to share the wealth (aka cuteness).


Dang it. Now I'm in the mood for it to be summer. If it were it would be all bright and sunny, like it is in these pictures. Instead it's snowy and cold. But actually I like the snow. Maybe I'll go sledding. Yeah.

Drastic Measures

Yes, fellow bloggees, this is my 3rd post in 3 days. Ridiculous, I know. That never happens. Drastic times force me to take drastic measures. So basically, I'm bored right now. Ridiculously bored. Now please hold while I try to think of something clever to write about. If you want, I'll even play elevator music while you wait. That's a lie. I won't actually play elevator music. Haha! I've thought of something!

Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific
Fain would I fathom thy nature specific
Perched up above in the aether so spacious
Strongly resembling a gem carbonacious

Yeah, that's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. New favorite poem? Heck yes!

Bah Humbug

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch.

"You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch.

"I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty nine and a half foot pole.

"You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch.

"Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

"You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks,
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch.

"The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
"STINK, STANK, STUNK!"

"You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched
with moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

"Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
mangled up in tangled up knots.

"You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseous super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
and you drive a crooked horse,
Mr. Grinch.

"You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
with arsenic sauce!"


This song is fantastic. So in the true Christmas spirit of sharing and spreading happiness and such, I went to all the trouble to post the lyrics on my blog for you. You're welcome. And Merry Christmas! Er, I mean, bah humbug.

Elephants

I'm really bored right now. So even though I can't think of anything clever to blog about, I'm going to write a blog anyways, because I need something to alleviate the crushing boredom. If only I had a pet baby elephant, I would never be bored. Have you ever seen those things? They are so ridiculously cute! See those pictures? See how little and fuzzy and just overall adorable it is? I want one. Note to self: ask future husband for a baby elephant.

Speaking of elephants, I'm super excited for our annual Christmas Eve party at my grandparent's house! What does this have to do with elephants, you may ask? Well, I may answer, we have a white elephant every year at this party. And we eat delicious clam chowder and ten million Christmas cookies and the like. It's fantastic.

Speaking of fantastic, I'm super excited for Christmas! Because it is incredibly fantastic. And I've already spoken about it, so I'm not gonna say much more on the subject. And now, just to bring this blog full circle, you know what else is incredibly fantastic besides Christmas? Baby elephants!

Exciting Adventures

So on Friday I was at Payless buying shoes for Jr Prom (which was super duper amazingly fantastic by the way!) Anyways, I was at Payless with my mother dearest and little sister dearest. As I was browsing, finding amazing magicalness like yellow shoes that only cost 7 dollars, and also brown shoes to match my dress that cost quite a bit more than $7, this weird lady comes up to my mom and asks in her weird voice, "Are these you're daughters? They're beeaaauuutiful! Have they ever considered modeling? The reason I ask is, I have an agency! Just give me your number and we'll call you tomorrow!" Then my mom said that if we were interested we'd call her. Needless to say, we didn't call her. My madre doesn't think modeling is a real job, and she doesn't want us to have to wear immodest clothes for it. And I have no time for it. Haha, it's funny though, because I used to joke about how I could be a model if I wanted, because I'm tall enough, and my mom said, "No! You'd have to wear immodest clothes!" and I said I could be a parka model. I'd wear big fluffy coats that are possibly the most unflattering things ever and reveal absolutely nothing. So I had the chance to have my dream fulfilled. By a weirdo. I heard her a little bit later from across the store accosting some other poor person, with pretty much the same spiel as she gave us. And she smelled faintly like cigarette smoke. And she seemed like she was kind of crazy.

Anyways, as long as I'm kinda ish on the subject, Jr's was amazing! For our day date we went sledding, and that was pretty much the funnest activity EVER! I haven't been sledding in forever, so it was awesome to go again! Haha, I even improved by the end, and didn't wipe out nearly as often :). Each time I fell out of my sled my jeans left blue streaks on the snow. It was pretty much awesome. After sledding and swinging on the swings at the park and drinking hot chocolate, it was time to go home and get ready. My mom offered to do my hair, and decided she would curl it and put it up, but as she was curling it she kept saying that she had no idea what to do next, and just didn't know what she was doing. Much as this was just instilling confidence in me, I was beginning to get a bit nervous. Then I remembered that during the summer one of my young women's leaders had told me if I ever needed someone to do my hair for a dance, she would be happy to. I called her up and asked if it was too late notice for her, and she said it wasn't, so we drove over to her house, I ran in and saw her son and his date, then she did my hair. She made it look gorgeous, and only took about 15 minutes. My hero. Anyways, then my date came and picked me up, we went to somebody's house for dinner (we had lasagna. 'twas delicious), and then we went to the dance. I realized as we were leaving that I had forgotten my ticket, so we had to drive quickly over to my house (which was luckily only about 5 minutes away) so I could sprint in and get it. Then we went to the dance. It was a lot of fun. I don't really know what to say about it. Afterward we went to the house of one of the guys in our group and watched The Princess Bride. Or at least part of it, but then I had to be home, so we weren't able to finish it. So yeah. Those were my exciting adventures of buying shoes and going to Jr Prom.

'Tis the Season

It's after Thanksgiving! do you know what this means? Over half the holiday sandwich is gone! Because as Julia so eloquently put it, Thanksgiving is just a holiday sandwich thrown in between Halloween and Christmas to pass the time. But now we're into the best part of it. The Christmas season! Huzzah! Or, as it's called by those in chorale, "the chorale season." There's a good reason for this. We have 27 performances in 16 days, starting on December 2. Hopefully I'll kick this cold by then, because that much singing with a sore throat would be a torture that should only exist in the 7th circle of Hell. (the 7th circle is the one that's supposed to be the worst, right?) Anyways, the point is, I'll be super busy. If I seem to drop off the face of the earth, just think of me out gallivanting around, singing to elementary schools and nursing homes. And lots of other people. I'm like that guy in the song, who wishes a Merry Christmas to "kids from 1 to 92"! Except more like to kids from 5 to 94. It'll be a party. Anyways, speaking of chorale, I should go learn my songs.

LOST

It's been requested that I blog about LOST. So that's what I'm doing. You're welcome, Sarah. In case any of you don't know, LOST is a TV show about these people on an island. And, get this, they're lost! Shocker, right? Never saw THAT one coming. Basically the island is like purgatory. But with polar bears! All the people on it have kinda messed up pasts (I'm sorry, Sarah, but it's true. Blowing your father up is messed up. So is doing heroin.) Then they all get stranded on this island and have a chance to redeem themselves or whatever. And kill polar bears! What good is redeeming yourself if you can't kill polar bears while you're at it? I mean, don't get me wrong here, I'm all about saving the environment (aka the polar bears), but sometimes they've just gotta take one for the team. The LOST team.

So anyways, after these people have a great time shooting down rampaging polar bears in the jungle and torturing people for asthma inhalers, they find some other people on the island. No, not the other people they tortured, altogether different people. Anyways, one of these "others," as they're so originally called, kidnaps poor pregnant Claire and her boyfriend Charlie. At least, he wants to be her boyfriend, but she's kinda got trust issues from the last loser who dumped her. So yeah, they get kidnapped, then the others get rid of Charlie by hanging him from a vine, but he doesn't actually die. Jack (the hero) brings him back to life. And that's as far as I've gotten. So don't tell me what happens next! Actually, saying that is sorta pointless, because Sarah's already told me everything that happens, and made me watch like 5 million "LOST explained in 5 minutes" things on youtube.

So that's LOST. It's super amazing, and I love it kind of a lot. It's pretty much fantabulous. I'm so hooked on it.

Thoughts and Tittles

Yeah, that title is me stealing/combining Camilla and Rachel's blog titles. Stealing people's blog titles seems to be what I'm best at.

Anyhoo. My life. Yeah, it's going. Yesterday I learned the hard way that it really hurts if you fall and hit your head really hard on your shoulder. But it's starting to do better! Now it only hurts if I turn my head at a certain angle. The problem is, the other side of my neck is all sore, because yesterday I had to sleep at this awkward angle so as not to hurt my head more. But it's not a concussion! Yay?

In other news, it also really hurts to hold a piping hot roll straight from the oven. Of course, the point is, I just got a piping hot roll straight from the oven. I love food. I think this will cause me to be tragically obese quite soon.

I've decided I really need orange Converse. Yesterday when I told my dad that I think I'll die without them, he said, "What color flowers do you want for your funeral?" I'm thinking bright orange, in memory of the Converse I never got. So in case I never get the chance to see any of you again, because I've wasted away and died because of this sad lack in my life, goodbye. It was nice knowing you all. Unless I don't know you. In which case, why are you reading my blog? Creeper.

Big Bertha the Bruise (Imposter Version)

Sometime in the middle of summer, Camilla got a large bruise on her knee and named it Bertha. I now have my own Big Bertha the Bruise. I got her at the pre-dance activity yesterday.

For this awesome activity, we played with Play-Doh, made homemade pizza, and also homemade ice cream! We then ate our homemade concoctions. For the ice cream we made it in one of those ball things that you throw around till the ice cream gets hard. As we were throwing it, each person it got thrown to had to add a word or phrase to a story. We came up with some pretty awesome stories about evil pussycats and evil green monkeys. Anyways, that is not the point. The point is, cream and sugar is really heavy. And when the ball got thrown to me one time I accidentally hit my knee with it. No worries, it only crippled me momentarily (10 minutes) before I manned up and dealt with it. Now I have my own Big Bertha the Bruise on my knee. After this, I was jumping on McKean's trampoline. It wasn't bouncy enough with just me on it, so McKean came and jumped with me. Then he was stealing my bounce, and that threw my rhythm off, so I fell and crippled my other knee. It doesn't have an impressive bruise, because instead it's something internal. So I still can't straighten my knee all the way. But that's OK. Knees are overrated anyways. After eating our hard earned concoctions, we were going to watch Princess Bride, but we didn't have enough time. So instead we did random stuff like sing Beatles' songs.

After our awesomly awesome pre-dance activity (have I mentioned it was awesome?) the dudes stayed at McKean's house to get ready, and the girls went to somebody's house to get ready. May I say we all looked stunningly beautiful? All of our dresses were red, which wasn't planned, but it just happened like that. We also all had curly hair. And flowers in our hair. And, biggest shocker of all, we all were going to Homecoming! Who would've ever guessed? Basically we're all like the same person. After we were ready the guys came over to pick us up and give us our corsages and stuff (or in my case, a bouquet), and we gave them their boutonnieres. And I was so proud of myself, because I didn't even stab Isaac (my date) when I pinned it on or anything! Oh, and how's this for awesomly awesome, he wore a TUX! That made me so happy! He borrowed his brother's or something like that.

After this exchange of flowers, we went to the dance and had an awesome time there. It was sooo so hot, though! I was dying! Then we had to drop people off at their houses, but first we got Frostee's and ate them in a random park. It was kind of a sketchy area, but nobody accosted us, so it's all good! And did I say it was hot? Yeah, that was at the dance. It was freezing outside. Then I accidentally broke my curfew because we were halfway across town dropping one of the other girls off. So we had to hurry and take me home. Then as Isaac and I were awkwardly standing on my porch as I was searching for my keys, the people in the car apparently were making comments about how boring we were, because I was just searching through my bag, and he was just leaning against the railing. See how wholesome we are? At least I had a good report for my uncle Todd! And if you don't know the story behind that, remind me to tell you sometime.

So yeah, that was Homecoming. Even though I got many battle wounds (crippling both knees, a burned ear from the curling iron, and a random bruise on my arm) it was way fun!

By Popular Request

It has been requested that I do a blog about my recent date. Actually, it wasn't all that recent, and I've told everybody who cares about it already anyways. So this blog will not be about that date. Sorry to disappoint. But, so the title isn't totally useless, I shall instead proceed to write about how I got asked to Homecoming this past week. (Even though it actually isn't by popular request, but whatever. Same diff.) Apparently last Friday while I was in Vegas for some wedding or something like that, I got asked. The person asking me came up with this creative plan, and drove over to my house, put it on my doorstep, rang the doorbell, then ran away and waited. And waited. And then finally remembered I was out of town. Bummer.

The following Monday after play practice I was standing around talking with a bunch of people, all of whom were in on the plan to ask me. They were all talking about it, but I had no idea what they were talking about, and so was incredibly confused. I told them they either had to stop talking about it or tell me what it was about, but they did neither. I was all freaking out about it till finally one of the boys, named Isaac, pulled me over and said, "So you haven't been asked to Homecoming yet, have you? Yeah, I'm gonna ask you. And I'm just telling you this because I don't know when I'll have time to go to your house again and drop it off, and I want you to have some more notice than 2 days before the dance or something." He then explained how he had already tried that weekend. He also said it was terribly punny, emphasis on the terrible.

Then 2 days ago, Thursday, I was blissfully sitting at home on the compute studying for an AP Euro test when the doorbell rang. I had this strange feeling it would be the thing for Homecoming. It was. It's a poster that says, " I would [then there was a jar of pickle relish taped on that's label said RELISH] going to the dance with you!" So it translates to, "I would relish going to the dance with you!" Then at the bottom there was a Kit Kat taped on, and in little tiny letters it said, "Have a Kit Kat." All righty then. Even though I got gross pickle relish, I also got a delicious Kit Kat! Oh, and I got asked to the dance, so I guess it all evens out.

Oh, I also told this riveting story for TV West. It's a show they do every week at West. I was sitting at lunch yesterday with my friends, eating food (shocker, I know), when some TV West people came by and asked if any of us were going to Homecoming. My hand shot up in the air, and they asked me if I'd mind sharing how I got asked on TV West. so I did. That'll show Isaac for being punny and giving me pickle relish! Mwahaha!

When I told my mom who had asked me and said that she'd met him before, because he was on our epic group date (which was frisbee golfing, just FYI) that met at our house, her 1st reaction was, "Oh, is he that short boy?" Nice tact, Mom, nice tact. He's not all that short! Yeah, I'm taller than him, but she doesn't need to make me feel so self conscious about it! Haha, so yeah, that's the awesome story of how I got asked to Homecoming

PS: John, being the suave, debonair charmer that he is, helped me to come up with a witty reply. I'll post it later in a comment after I've actually done it. Be excited!

Awards

So Jonathan got a super cool award recently for best potluck inspector. I, on the other hand, got a super cool award for best message giver. I gave Josh the message to call Jonathan to practice German, so Jonathan sent me a certificate for best message giver. See how awesome it is? And I actually don't have all that much more to say on this subject. I promised Jonathan I would write a blog on it, though.

Speaking of awards I have recently received, my cousin Sarah said I get a trophy for best cousin ever. I haven't gotten it yet. I worked so hard for it though! I had to look up all this stuff in my AP European history textbook, and it wasn't even stuff you could find in the index, because it was stuff like, "Come up with 5 examples of how religion dominated life during the time of the Reformation." She had forgotten her textbook at school, so I had to do it for her. Aren't I just the bestest ever? Yeah. I know I am.

My Super Exciting (but really not) Life!

Once Upon A Time there was a girl named Kristina. This girl got a cold. This cold proceeded to ruin her life. She lost her voice for a while, got it back, then got congested and gross, and then was all runny nose-y AND kept coughing. It was terrible. The End

Moral of the Story: Colds are the worst. They should all go die. They're ruining my life! For example, I just got a call asking me to sing the national anthem at the football game tomorrow, but I can't. I'd probably break out coughing or something in the middle of the song if I tried. Or, more likely, I just wouldn't be able to hit the high notes and would sound hideous. The reason they called is because in chorale they sent around some sign-up list for people who would be willing to sing it at games and stuff, because they figured if we're good enough to be in chorale we're good enough to sing at a game.

In other news of exciting stuff I got asked today, I also got asked on my first date! And I shall keep tantalizingly quiet about the rest, mwahaha! Call me if you want to hear the details. Actually, they wouldn't be very specific details, considering that I'm still not sure what we're doing, and we haven't quite figured out when it is. It's a group date, and no one can seem to agree on a time. But still, you could hear the details of how I got asked! Which actually really isn't all that exciting, but whatever. So yeah, that's my life!

Storytime!

"Once Upon A Time there lived a beautiful princess. She had pitch black hair, ruby red lips, and skin white as snow. Everyone called her Snow White because of this skin. One day her evil stepmother, the Queen, poisoned her with a poisoned apple. Snow White was sent into a deep sleep that could only be broken by True Love's Kiss. We, the 7 dwarfs, placed her in a glass tomb, so one day when Prince Charming came he would see her beauty and kiss her. He never came. His horse twisted an ankle, so he never went out troll hunting that week, so he never heard our crying, so he never went towards it, so he never chanced upon us and kissed Snow White. We put an enchantment on her tomb so that she wouldn't grow any older, but by now I doubt that a prince will ever come for her! It's been 500 years since that fateful day, and princes these days are wusses. All they do is sit around writing new laws. "Bla bla this, bla bla that. Bla bla all dwarfs must be at the maximum 3 feet 3 inches tall, or they merely classify as vertically challenged humans, bla bla bla." Government these days!"

"Wow, Grandpa, were you really one of the original 7 dwarfs?"

"Yes, I was, but fat lot of good it did me. And don't tell me to be happy that at least I had the experience; my name is Grumpy! Happiness isn't in the job description. I'm the last surviving of the original 7 dwarfs, and I'm on my deathbed! There's no hope for Snow White now. Except that stupid old quest they speak of..."

"What quest, Grandpa, what quest, what quest?"

"Calm down, Burpy! There's some supposed quest for these weird ingredients like powdered hens teeth and snake toenails, and if you find them all and combine them and force feed the princess, she'll come back to consciousness."

***

Soon after this conversation, Grumpy died. Burpy was now the only dwarf who knew of this mythical quest to to synthesize true love's kiss. Or at least the only one willing to do anything about it. He set out right away, because if he could be the one to somehow awaken Snow White, he would get fame and fortune! Well, maybe (probably) not fortune, and only fame in the dwarfing world, but hey, he would take what he could get. And maybe, just maybe, they would restart the tradition of having kings, and he would be King! That would show all those people who said he would never have any friends. Just because mining wasn't his favorite, and OK, maybe he had once or twice mistaken common cave crystals for diamonds, but still! That was no excuse to say he was descended from Dopey! Young dwarfs could be so cruel sometimes! OK, old dwarfs could be cruel, too. Burpy just couldn't understand why they were all cruel to him in particular, though.

After gathering his provisions and setting out on the journey, Burpy realized he had forgotten any food. Sure, he had remembered his pick-axe, sure he had remembered a shovel, and sure he had remembered his Guidebook to Indigenous Rocks, Minerals, and Jewels, by H.C.C. Roberts, PhD, but he had forgotten food. It would be far too humiliating to go back to the dwarf colony and get some, because he had sworn he wouldn't go back till he had all the ingredients he needed. And they seemed so happy that he was going to find the important ingredients, they had even thrown a celebration in his honor! He couldn't understand what that conversation he had heard some of other dwarfs having was about, though. They had said something along the lines of, "...really stupid enough to think he'll find them? Who's he kidding? He'll probably fall down a hole and die of claustrophobia. Good riddance...Don't even think he's a real dwarf. There have been rumors that he's 3 feet 4 inches tall. That classifies as a vertically challenged human..." They must have been talking about some other dwarf going on a quest, Burpy decided. Because he totally wasn't 3'4''. Maybe 3 feet and 3 and a half inches, but that was a family secret! No one knew about that! Anyways, he certainly couldn't go back to the dwarf village to get food, so he had to go to a human village! Oh the horror!

As Burpy walked into the human village, called Wode-on-the-Wall, he got his first glimpse of a real live human. They were HUGE! And none of them were carrying pick-axes or shovels or anything of the sort! And their clothes didn't have any dirt on them or anything! These humans certainly were strange. He was walking along distractedly when he waled into two trees growing right next to each other. Holy smokes, those weren't trees, they were legs! Surely this must be a giant instead of a human! And giants eat dwarfs! Burpy started running as fast as he could in the opposite direction, but alas, to no avail. The giant caught up with him. But wait a second, weren't giants supposed to yell "Fee Fi Fo Fum" or something like that? And this creature certainly wasn't doing that. Was it, could it possibly be...a human? It was! Thank goodness. Burpy wasn't ready to die. After all, he hadn't even become king yet!

Burpy found out that the human, named Neil, was just as curious about dwarfs as he was about humans. They started talking, and Burpy found out that Neil was a carpenter. He had a big leather apron covered in sawdust, a big sandy colored beard covered in sawdust, and big leather boots covered in sawdust. It made Burpy sneeze. Despite this, he soon found himself pouring out all his insecurities and problems and everything about his quest to Neil, who seemed to exude calmness and understanding. Neil seemed interested in the quest, and decided he would help, because carpentry was a dying job, what with iron-work being all the rage nowadays, so he had nothing much better to do. His only qualification was that he had to go see this princess who he would be spending years of his life trying to save.

Burpy reluctantly took Neil to the dwarf village, and they snuck in during the dead of night, their only light coming from some of the special glowing cave slime that was to be found all around the mines. As soon as Neil saw Snow White in this eerie green glow, he fell madly in love with her, and rushed to the tomb. Burpy tried to stop him, but how was he to stop 250 pounds of pure muscle (not to mention those other pounds of fat). Neil easily lifted the glass dome off the tomb and kissed Snow White on impulse. At first nothing seemed to happen. Burpy, who had been holding his breath in anticipation, let it out and said irritably, "Well that was stupid. Nothing happened!" His speech seemed to break the spell. Snow White's eyelids fluttered. Then, miracle of miracles, she woke up!

***

Though at first disappointed that her true love was a measly carpenter, Snow White grew to love Neil. They got married and moved to a bigger village than Wode-on-the-Wall. Together they started a company manufacturing glass shoes, little knowing that one day one of their shoes would belong to a princess! But that's a different story.

As for Burpy, he never did become king. Because Snow Whiter had awakened during the middle of the night, and nobody was there to see it except for Burpy, nobody believed his story. They all wondered what had happened to Snow White, though, because she certainly wasn't in her glass tomb anymore. But it couldn't have had anything to do with Burpy. After all, he had to use a guidebook written by a human just to identify common rocks, minerals, and jewels! Obviously he couldn't have helped rescue Snow White from her deep sleep. However, he absolutely was not suited to mining, so finally, just to get rid of him, they appointed him ambassador to the humans. It was a job Burpy loved till his dying day.

Letters

Dear Facebook,
You steal far too much of my time. It's not very nice. Especially when I have homework. Especially when I get in trouble for being on it when I'm supposed to be doing homework. But that's OK, I forgive you. After all, you make my stalking so much easier! I mean, uh...me? Stalking? NEVER!
Love, Kristina

Dear Sore Throat,
It's not very kind of you to be hurting me. I guess the only silver lining is at least you've finally decided to give me my voice back. I appreciate it quite a lot. And I promise if you only stop hurting I'll love you forever! I'll feed you delicious food and everything! Pinky promise.
Love, Kristina

Dear School,
I appreciate it ever so much that you're having a late start day on Monday. This brings joy and happiness and sunshine and bubbles and flowers to my life. Basically it's the greatest thing. Ever. Not just since converse, not just since gelato. Since forever. Well, OK, let's face it, converse and gelato are hard to beat. But you come close! Yup, THAT'S how great you are.
Love Kristina

Dear Self,
This blog post is rather pointless. You might want to not publish it. Nah. Let's share our craziness with the world! Goooood plan. And besides, it's only family who reads it anyways. They already know I have...problems. :) And even if a prospective husband DOES read it, at least it goes with the old saying about if they can't take me at my worst they don't deserve me at my best? Right? And you may say it's ridiculous to be talking about husbands already. And you would be right. Luckily, ridiculous is MY middle name! Just kidding. It's actually Octavia. Just kidding. It actually doesn't exist. Whatever. Same diff.
Love, Kristina

News Update

Has anyone else noticed that news is really depressing? It's all about murders and stuff. It makes me want to go cry every time I hear it. Anyways, on that note, here's a news update my week! I shall try my very hardest to make it happy.

This week I was not mugged.

I did not get bitten by a dog this week. This imaginary bite did not become infected, nor was it a terribly deep bite. I did not have to go to the hospital for said imaginary bite.

I had no tests this week. Unfortunately, I did have quizzes. Fortunately, I did well on all of them. Unfortunately, I also had homework. Fortunately, it was easy (ish).

I did not read about Dobby's death this week. My sister did. She cried. I did neither.

This week I did not wake up and find out I had turned into a bug in my sleep. Nor did I wake up and realize I was a dead bug, because I had turned into a bug in my sleep, and then somebody had killed me with pesticide. No, I was fortunate enough to escape these tragedies.

I did not suddenly gain 100 pounds and get ridiculed for being obese.

None of my family members killed someone with an axe this week and then went into delirium about it, and my mother did not eventually die of grief because of this imaginary murder.

I was not given cookies that had ranch dressing in them.

I WAS given delicious homemade cookies, with the chocolate chips all wonderful and warm and gooey and melty.

I got lots of compliments on a dress I wore to school this week.

I had an awesome shoe party with someone in a'capella, because both of us were complimented on our shoes, proving their awesomeness. Mine were red, hers were sparkly silver converse.

I got my student ID today, and I don't look hideous in it.

This week I got to listen to my history teacher ramble about various things in a most amusing fashion, because she was sleep deprived and drugged up.

This week I got a name tag thingie, and instead of boring dots over the I's, it had stars dotting them!

I ate the most amazing homemade pizza I have ever tasted in my life this week.

I got to meet the students I'm helping to peer tutor in special ed seminary, and they are so sweet and adorable and I'm so excited! :)

Tree Hugging

Trees. I love them. So much. They're all green and leafy and basically amazing. And climb-able! That's the best part! We have 5 trees in our yard, but they're all miniature fruit trees, and therefore too small to climb. This makes me sad. I really wish we had a great big one I could climb whenever I felt like it. Especially when I storm out of the house, angry at someone. As it is, I have to go sit lamely in the grass. If we had a tree, I could go climb it! The problem is, if I was crying, I would probably fall out of it. And then I would REALLY be crying. And in the hospital. Or dead. But seriously, I absolutely adore trees. If it's a great big tree lots of people can climb up and we can have a partay! Or if it's just me I can sit there and be all transcendental-ly and commune with nature. Because that's totally what I'd be doing. Not spying on people from my tree top perch. I would never do such a thing! Riiiight.

I think my favorite type of tree is maple. They were the 1st tree I could identify. Probably because the way to my grandparent's house is lined with them. Basically they're the best. And then you get maple syrup from them! Sweet sugary waffle-topping-ness! Well, at least that's what artificial maple syrup is. I've tried the real stuff, and I don't like it that terribly much, actually. I feel like such a hypocrite! *sob!* My dad likes it, though! So at least someone does? So it counts for me? Because he's a relative? And I have his genes? Or something like that.

Anyways, that was me rambling about trees. I probably sound like a tree hugger, but that's OK. I do hug trees. Some people might just call it hanging on so you don't fall off, but I call it tree hugging. I'm just cool like that. Speaking of cool, want to know what I think would be super cool? Sitting in a tree during a rainstorm! Or a windstorm or something. Just something with no lightning, because getting electrocuted would not be super cool. But seriously, I would love to be sitting there in the tree with the wind rushing by, and not be high enough to be really dangerous, but not be low enough to not feel it shaking in the wing. To be at just the right height to feel it shaking but knowing it won't break, and to hear the leaves rustling, and to feel the wind rushing by. I would love that! I'm gonna put it on my bucket list now! It can be right up there with traveling the world. But not actually right up there, because traveling the world comes first. But whatever. Close enough. Trees in a storm, traveling the world, same diff.

It's That Time of Year

So...school. I like all my classes, I like all my teachers, I have awesome people in all my classes. So you could say I love school this year. But it would be a lie. I like my classes, just not school in general. For one thing, school now starts 10 minutes later, but in return we get out 25 minutes later. I don't get home till after 3 each day. That's awful! Also, they made lunch shorter. And they also cut down the time we have in between classes to get from class to class. All this makes the classes much longer. I guess some of the teachers like it, but a lot of them don't. And the students aren't really fans of it either...Also, they've changed the schedule to some weird thing, so 1st period is called 1-2 period, 2nd is 3-4, 3rd is 5-6, and 4 is 7-8. It confuses everyone, because some teachers want you to write the normal class period when you write it, and some want the weird new one. Oh, and want to know the reason they shortened the time in between classes? They think this will cut down on the number of people getting to class late. Because now that they know they have less time to get to class, they won't stop to talk to friends, and instead go straight to class. Riiiight. What will happen is that TONS of people will be late, and the administration will be so confused as to why it's happening. Because obviously if you change the system then the kids will change according to it. And also, we have 500 more students this year than we did last year. That means the halls are way crowded, and so it's hard to get anywhere in time, so with this new shortened time in between classes it's kinda impossible for some people to get to class on time, regardless of if they stop to talk with friends or not.

OK, rant about scheduling stuff over. Now want to hear about my bus driver? She's the angriest lady I have ever seen. Today she handed out schedules for morning bus stops and when she'll be there to pick people up, and when I told her I don't take the bus in the morning, she glared at me for about a minute before moving on. Then when my friend told her that she already had a schedule, she glared at her, said, "Well this one is different!" and threw it in her face. Then when she had stopped to let some kids off at a stop and a car drove by (didn't do anything except drive past), she honked the horn for about 30 seconds at the car, while glaring out the window. Can you say cranky? And then I have to walk home 10 blocks from the bus stop to my house. In 100 degree weather. With a 20 pound backpack. Basically it's miserable.

OK, I'm done with all my rants now, I promise. Now for the positive. I like all my classes! Some of them are gonna be way hard, but I think they'll be pretty good, for the most part. I was way scared for physics, but I actually am starting to think that I might be able to do it. Pre-calc has homework every single day, so that kinda sucks. Spanish is going to be a lot of work, and the teacher is a native speaker, so that's scary, but I think I'll be fine. Hopefully. I think A'Capella will be way fun! Same with chorale, but I think I'm the least experienced on in it. Everyone else was at least in A'Capella last year. Pre'calc has homework every single day, so I'm not looking forward to that, but it looks like it'll be a pretty good class. AP English Literature I think is gonna be good. I like reading, and I actually like the books we have to read for school, and I'm good at writing papers, so it should be pretty great. AP European History will be hard. Lots and lots of homework. And thanks to the horrible random seating chart, I'm stuck in the back corner. Away from all friends. But I love the teacher! I think it'll not be an awful class. In fact, quite the opposite. Then for seminary I'm going to help out with special ed seminary, so that should be an interesting experience. I think I'll have a good year!

Involving Toothpaste, Platypuses, and Princesses

School starts on Wednesday. So this is probably gonna be my last post before the end of everything. Just like in Lord of the Rings when Frodo and Sam are on Mount Doom and say something like, "Here we are, at the end of everything." That's me. I'll be Sam. Unfortunately, soon school will ruin even that! I can't be Sam, because he's too covered in dirt. That wouldn't be socially accepted at school. School is also ruining my dreams of becoming a hobo. At least I could be a vagabond, despite what school tries to do to me. Ha! Take that! I'm beating the system!

Anyways, I have a plan. A fantastic plan. For my future. It doesn't even involve schooling! It involves platypuses, so you know it's awesome. First of all, fresh out of high school I'm going to do toothpaste commercials. I'll go on with a big cheesy smile and my blindingly white teeth, with a big cheesy sparkle on them, and say something like, "This is what Crest did for me!" I'll get so rich so quick! Crest's or Colgate's or whatever company I'm working for will have so many sales because of me! I'll become a millionaire and be able to retire by my early 20's.
However, I'll then move to Australia and start a platypus smuggling business. I'll smuggle them from Australia to Ireland. One day while I'm in Ireland at a platypus smuggling convention, I'll fall out of a tree into the arms of an Irishman. Just like Giselle does in Enchanted! He'll be an amazing singer and make tasty food and just be overall amazing! Of course we'll fall madly in love and get married. And I'd never ever get tired of listening to him, because he'll have an Irish accent, and those are my very favorite accents in the whole wide world! Anywho, we'll sing alllll the time! Because we met each other in an Enchanted-like way, so we need to carry on with that. But the best part is, it won't be just us singing! We'll sing in parks and stuff, and everyone will randomly join in and start an impromptu parade! Just like in Enchanted! So I'll travel the world with my wonderful singing Irishman, singing and starting impromptu parades everywhere, and bringing joy to millions of people. Afterward, we'll retire to my humble abode, which will be neither humble nor an abode. It'll be a castle! And I'll be the princess.

So that's my life plan. No schooling needed, but I guess I'll just have to suffer through it till I'm old enough to do the commercials and become a millionaire. Or a billionaire. Either one works. Anyways, I suppose it helps to pass the time till then. I'm so excited for my future!

Hey you! Yeah, You With the Glasses!

This post is a shoutout to Josh. Not because he's a bored one, but because he wrote a blog post with a shoutout to me, so I'm returning the favor.

Without the figurative bone he threw me, I would have melted into a puddle of boredom, just like the Wicked Witch of the West being splashed with water. Or like Superman when confronted with Kryptonite. Or like the camel whose back broke under the last straw of boredom. Or like Rachel when imaginary flies are pointed out to her. OK, so none of them but the witch actually melted, but they all have horrible reactions.

Assuming that I'm Rachel, and that my imaginary fly is boredom, my reaction isn't nearly as amusing as hers. It's more of I curl up and die in a hole in the mud in sleet and hail. Alone and friendless. Figuratively, of course. If you want literal, I pace around the house and complain about my boredom. Then I write blog posts about my boredom. I also have a rather difficult time discerning the fine line between boredom and hunger, so food is quite often involved. Getting the wisdom teeth out has helped with that, though. I think I get fuller with less now. Oh, and I also write random messages on people's walls on facebook. They're...interesting.

Anyways, I absolutely have no problem with not having enough time to write a post. Haha, silly Josh with this imaginary thing called "work." I've never heard of it before. It sounds awful! Of course, once school starts my blog posts will probably stop till next June when school gets out. I'll be far too busy to write them. I'm taking several honors classes, several AP classes, and then a'capella and chorale. They're just singing, so you wouldn't expect them to take tons of time, but they have lots of performances. Chorale especially. And December is crunch time for them. Apparently last year chorale did 27 performances in 18 days. Oh, the hardships of being an amazing singer! I shall somehow have to force myself to persevere.

So I was planning on being on swim team, but I'm pretty sure that won't work. Their crunch time is December, too. I would DIE! I might already, so I don't need any extra stress. That would be like a smoker with terminal lung cancer jumping in front of a train. They're already gonna die, why speed it up? I do want to do the play and musical, though. Tech or acting. Either one would work. And the musical is in the fall and the play is in spring, so it wouldn't coincide with singing either! It's pretty great. But there's also the problem of hard classes and homework.

Moral of the story: Right now I may be dying of boredom, but during the school year I'll be dying of stress. I'm not sure which one I prefer...

My Dilemma

So I've run into a slight dilemma. The computer is always an easy solution for when you're bored, so I get on it all the time to try and reverse my boredom, or at least keep it at bay. Out of all the boredom reversing things to do on the computer, reading blogs is a great one! So I read them. A lot. I go down the list of people's blogs, and it always makes me so happy when there are new posts. It always makes me so not happy when there aren't new posts. So as I'm going through the list of blogs, I always go to mine last. And for some reason, even when I know there won't be a new post, it always kinda surprises and disappoints me when there isn't one. Even though I know even if there was a new one since the last one I posted, I would already know what it said and have no reason to read it. But still. That is my dilemma. At least if there was a new post someone might have commented on it so I could read it. But no. And the problem is, to be able to read people's new comments, I have to write a new post! Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

Facebook

I'm sooooo bored!!!!!!!

Possible Facebook statuses right now:

Kristina is so bored she is talking about herself in the 3rd person. a fact made even worse by the fact that she doesn't actually have anything to talk about.

Kristina has a hard time distinguishing the fine line between boredom and hunger. too bad she can't eat real food!

Kristina needs a life.

Kristina has a life, she just can't currently live it because of wisdom teeth.

Kristina is so bored she's gonna go write a blog about it.

Kristina has a blog? Yep, contrary to popular belief, Kristina has a blog. Boring, just like her life.

Kristina's life isn't normally this boring. Really. Otherwise she would have died long ago from never having anything to do.

Kristina has a plan! She is no longer bored! Yay!!!!!

Foolish Teeth

Ugh. Wisdom teeth suck. They should all go die. The good news is, they no longer hurt as much today! If I had written this yesterday it would be a long list of complaints about how hard it was to smile, and how much my jaw hurt, and so on and so on. Oh, and how I couldn't open my mouth very wide (still can't). Anyways, because it is no longer yesterday, instead of complaints, I shall document this momentous occasion in my life.

I had to wake up early yesterday so I could get ready and then go get my school pictures taken. They did appointments this year online, and so we already had done everything we needed to do online, so my mom thought it would be go in, get my picture taken, go out. Ha, silly mom. We had to wait for 45 minutes, because of the stupid appointment, instead of taking 15 minutes like we have in years past. Anyways, we just barely finished all that registration stuff in time to go to the oral surgeon's.

As John and I were waiting to get our foolish teeth extracted, I was nervously pacing the room, while he was sitting calmly in a corner. Finally one of the assistants came and asked which of us wanted to go first, so I shot my hand up in the air. Apparently, this is quite out of the usual, and normally the sister makes the brother go first. Eh, whatevs. They hooked me up to a heart rate monitor, and a blood pressure monitor, and hooked me up to an IV. The stupid hear rate monitor beeped with every beat of my heart, and it was really starting to get on my nerves. Then they gave me some stuff to relax me, and told me it would kick in within 30 seconds. I immediately started counting, but lost track at about 13. Then I was feeling all light headed and stuff, when they gave me some anesthetic...

Next thing I remember I was waking up. I was really surprised that my hands were folded in my lap, because they had been on the arm rests before my surgery. I kept trying to talk, but my whole mouth was numb, so it came out totally incoherent. I could feel my lip, though, and it felt like it was sticking out about 2 inches, so I kept trying to ask if it was, but no one could understand me. Finally they decided I was ready to stand up and go wait for John to come out from the anesthetic, so I stood up, and almost fell over. They had a wheelchair ready in case of something like this, but even though it was 1 foot away, I still almost fell over about 7 times before reaching it. I then got to wait for John to get up.

On the way home we stopped for shakes, and we ate them once we got home. We still couldn't feel anything in our mouths, so we were dribbling all over, but didn't know we were. We then both fell asleep on different couches for a couple hours. When I woke up, the anesthetic had worn off on half of my face, but not yet on the other half. It was one of the weirdest feelings ever. I tried smiling, and so I was able to smile on one side, but exactly halfway it turned into a droopy frown. I didn't see it, but it felt quite odd, and I was assured by my sister it looked that way too. Sometime during "Ratatouille" the anesthetic wore off and I was able to smile again! Yay! It just kinda hurt...But whatever.

I've been prescribed Lortab, but so far have been ok with just Motrin, which is basically really strong Ibuprofen. It's not totally pain free, but it feels much better today than it did yesterday. For now I'm just hoping I don't get an infection or a dry socket. A dry socket is where the blood clot protecting the hole somehow gets sucked away or something and leaves all the nerves exposed. Apparently it's incredibly painful.

So that's the deal with my wisdom teeth. Basically I despise them.

Me in 25 Random Facts

Since I feel like I should have another post so that other one isn't all sad and alone, I'll write 25 random things about me! Yaaaay.
1. Give me a camera and I will be entertained for hours.
2. I can be mature if I want. Really. I just don't often want.
3. If you rain on my parade I shall be thrilled, and promptly sing and dance in it. Hailing on my parade, however, is unforgivable.
4. Red shoes make my life. Not just my day, but my life. They're the best.
5. I LOVE reading, and it's my goal to read at least one new book or play every month.
6. Daffodils are the best. End of story. They're all bright and sunny and YELLOW! (just like my room is now, and that makes me really happy! :D )
7. I've got a high pain tolerance, but can be really whiny about all the trivial stuff. If it's something big, I'll usually just bear it in silence, but if it's something like a stubbed toe I won't shut up about it.
8. Music is my life. I would die without it. So if one day I suddenly go deaf, and the next I'm found dead in my room, you know the reason.
9. I hate hate HATE snails. They're so disgusting and gross and slimy, but I can't squish them because you can feel the crunch from their shell, but I can't pour salt on them either, because then they bubble up and it looks so horrible. I just can't deal with them. If I absolutely have to, I'll get a huge rock and drop it on them.
10. I love colors. Going blind would kill me. Probably even faster than going deaf.
11. I still have 15 more things to say about myself, but I'm running out of ideas, so this counts as a random fact about myself, ok? OK.
12. My favorite candy is probably Skittles. Starburst is a close second. Or maybe chocolate.
13. I waste far too much of my time on the computer. Which is why getting a blog probably wasn't my smartest move ever. I mean, no, it was GREAT move. Riiight.
14. I keep telling myself that I'm going to be healthier starting now, but then I see (or even worse, smell) delicious homemade baked goods and give up.
15. Me? Sarcasm? Never! I never use it ever! I think it's the worst!
16. The 1st time I tried dehydrated fruit I kinda despised it, but after recently going camping and eating it all the time, I really like it.
17. I think everyone needs at least one hug a day to be really truly healthy. So anytime you're dropping by, feel free to give me one! *hint hint cough cough*
18. In response to the ever pressing question of stripes or polka dots, I'd choose polka dots. Hands down.
19. According to a long term substitute I had once, "even when I'm totally silent I still manage to be the loudest person in the room."
20. I'm reeeaally enthusiastic. And as long as I'm doing "according to's", according to my brother in law, if you took half my enthusiasm and injected it into my brother, you'd have 2 people with normal levels of enthusiasm.
21. Lalalala, I loooove to sing!
22. Out of all the chores I have to do, I hate doing dishes the worst.
23. Clowns have never scared me. I just don't see what the deal with "aaah! creepy clowns! is!" Unless, of course, you're talking about Chuckles...That might just be because he "lives" in a bathroom, though.
24. Yes, I read Twilight. Yes, I even liked it. Then everyone read it and loved it and got way too obsessed. I don't like it that much anymore...
25. Before I got braces I really didn't think my teeth were all that crooked. Now I look back at pictures of me before getting them and think, "eeewww, they were horrible!"

trek quotes

Brick: "Chekov [me] is doing good work"
Sebastian: "Chekov is doing ALL the work!"

Bishop Fautz: "I can say mustard in Spanish! Moose tard!"

me: "you're sunburnt"
Harrison: "no! it's a sexy tan!"
me: "no, it's a sunburn"
Harrison: "well at least it's a sexy red!"

Harrison: "we've finally got a man here!"
me: "are you calling me a man?"
Harrison: "I mean, we've got...um...a very manly...um..."


Cecilia: "I'm gonna marry a Polynesian and have lots of kids and live in Italy with a summer home in Australia!"
me: "is the guy you like Polynesian"
Cecilia: "oh...dang it"
me: "it's ok. he could get a culture change. it's like a sex change...but BETTER!"

Brick: "he was snoring so loud, and I just kept thinking, 'well, at least SOMEONE is getting some sleep.' next time I go camping I'm bringing nasal strips!"

me (at Little America on the way back to Utah, and in my bad Russian accent): "I am a Russian polygamist!" (because we were all dressed in pioneer clothes and looked like polygamists)
Julia: "did you just say what I think you said?"
me (still with the accent): "yes, they are much better than the American type!"
me (switching to my normal accent): "and look at how good my American accent is getting! I've been practicing"
these random kids at the table next to us were giving me very strange looks...


so that was my trek! sounds fun, huh? it totally was!

Stealing Bloggy

So it has recently come to my attention that I need to have a blog. Actually, not recently, more like my brother-in-law has been telling me for weeks, so I finally decided to make one. Which leads us to the matter of the title. I promise I'm not a klepto, it's that I kinda semi stole his blog name, Feeling a Lil' Bloggy, so mine is Stealing Bloggy. Hahaha, get it? OK, I'll just stop talking now