Mood Cubes

A couple weeks ago in history we learned about some guy whose name escapes me. I do remember that he was a reformer of some sort, and he would dress up every day and wait in his study for visitors to come talk to him about his wonderful ideas. They never came, but he never stopped dressing up and hoping that maybe someone would finally come. He sat in his study, alone, just waiting and hoping that this would be the day.

He also came up with an idea for workers. They would have little cubes by their workplaces, and when they were happy they would turn the cube to yellow, and when they were sad they would turn the cube to whatever the sad color was. This way the supervisor could look out over the mass of workers, and by the colors could see whether this would be a happy, productive, awesome day, or a terrible, glum, unproductive day.

Well, today in history, whilst taking an oral quiz, I got bored in between questions, and decided to make my very own happy-sad cube! But new and improved! For one thing, it has 6 emotions, all with different colors attached. Also, each color is labeled with the corresponding emotion, and also with a little smiley face (or angry face or sad face or excited face, etc) to illustrate what this emotion is. And, as long as I was making improvements, I gave it power to travel through space and time. And it can call people on the phone. And can find the cure for cancer. OK not really. And hey, as long as we're talking about its shortcomings, can't forget the most important one. Instead of being a cube, it's actually completely flat, and merely drawn on paper. I feel like such a failure!

But! I have a plan. A wonderful plan. I'm going to make little foam Mood Cubes, and I'll sell them on the black market! And the purple market! And even the orange market! Anyways, these really will be cubes, and everyone will buy them and I'll get rich. Until then, I'll be dressed up in Sunday best, waiting in the study for possible investors to come a'visitin'

Happy Valentines Day!

Or as I like to call it, Happy It's-high-school-and-everyone-is-awkward-and-then-they-get-in-relationships-and-are-really-awkward Day!

In elementary school, Valentines Day was such a big deal. We got to make boxes for the cards, and then we made awesome valentines cards for everyone in the class, and we got tons of candy and had a huge party that all the class moms put on, and it was just great!

Cut to middle school. Valentines Day is pretty much ignored by everyone, and all you can do for it is wear a red shirt or something to be festive.

Then in high school it's big again. You can buy bags of candy to send to people. You can buy carnations to send to people. Awkward couples get each other teddy bears and stuff. Friends get candy for their friends. And I hate it.

Yes, friends, I am a Valentines troll. Haha, Some may even call me a love troll :) . But really, it's so dumb. The whole point is for marketers to make money. People say it's a day to express love, but you can do that any time you feel like it! Did you know that every year, $13 million is spent on chocolate for Valentines Day? And $7 million is spent on other candy for Valentines Day. That's $20 million, and that's ridiculous!

OK, I make it sound like I object to the commercialism. Really that's not the problem. Really it's the awkwardness. I think it's a dumb holiday full of awkwardness, because everyone is all sickeningly in love, but it's high school, so you know it's not really love, and it makes everyone around them feel uncomfortable.

So today I was going through my usual routine, lalala, and then I get home from school. There are plumbers here installing a new water heater, so all the water in the whole house is off. If this is the last you ever hear of me, just know that I died of thirst.

I think from now on I'll call it Happy Dying-of-thirst Day. It has a nice ring.

Holy Cheesy, Batman!

Robin: "Boy! That was our closest call ever! I have to admit that I was pretty scared!"
Batman: "I wasn't scared in the least."
Robin: "Not at all?"
Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."

Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!"
Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene."

Bruce: "Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might be besmirched."

Robin: "Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?"
Batman: "The true crime-fighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin."

Batman: "Man-eating lilacs have no teeth, Robin. It's a process of ingestion through their tentacles."

Batman: "Go back outside and calm the flower children."
Robin: "They'll mob me!"
Batman: "Groovy."

Batman: "With my head sticking out of this neosaurus costume, I might not appear like an ordinary, run of the mill crime-fighter."

Robin: "Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives!"
Batman: "Rules are rules, Robin. But you do have a point."

Batman to Robin: "That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum."

Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, yes. I'll get these darn verbs if they kill me!"

Batman to Robin: "Stop fiddling with that atomic pile and come down here!"

Dick: "Now whenever I eat mashed potatoes, I, for one, will think of the Incas."

Batman to Robin: "All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big."

Poison Ivy: "I must confess, the combination of heroic derring-do and the anatomically correct rubber suit puts fire in a girl's lips."
Batman: "Why are all the gorgeous ones homicidal maniacs? Is it me?"