Evil Bloodsucking Harbingers of DOOM!

Special Agent Yellow Otter to Houston. Come in, Houston. We have a problem here in Utah, over. There are evil bloodsucking monsters, over. They're coming for me! Aaaaiiiiaaauuuggggghhh--

There you have it, folks. Evil bloodsucking harbingers of doom. AKA mosquitoes. SUCH a problem! You may say, "But Kristina, they aren't that bad. Just use mosquito repellant sometimes, and you're good." No! I'm not! It doesn't matter how much mosquito repellant I use, they still find me. And suck my blood and make me itch and give me West Nile Virus.

Conversation between two mosquitoes, Sally and Betty.
Sally: How's it going, Betty? This whole eating for 12 thing is pretty hard, isn't it?
Betty: Yeah, these eggs are awful. But I found this great all-you-can-eat buffet!
Sally: Oh yeah, I think I've heard about it. It's called Kristina or something, right?
Betty: Mm-hmm. Last month it was rated most popular place for mosquitoes to eat in all of Utah.
Sally: Doesn't surprise me. I eat there all the time!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that conversation happens all the time. Stupid bloodsucking females. (That line would have worked so much better if I were a guy who had recently been dumped or something. Oh well. Instead I'll just be bitter against mosquitoes. In case you couldn't tell, I am).