Antics of a Small Child

I was the coolest little kid ever, you guys. By which I mean, I've got no idea how my family put up with me.

For one thing, I was jealous of my little sister. Not because I thought my parents gave her more attention. Oh no. I was jealous that she had the best sister ever, and I was stuck with someone so mediocre. I thought, "How come I'm so awesome, and I'm stuck with someone not so awesome?" I lived a hard life.

Also, today as I was talking with one of my best friends, we wondered how we didn't know each other when we were little, because we grew up two blocks away from each other. My only memory of her when I was little was walking past her house every week during the summer, and getting all annoyed that there were always chalk drawings on the sidewalk. I mean, obviously, I'm the only one allowed to color with chalk on the sidewalk. What was she thinking?

Another fond childhood memory is going to the zoo and seeing the elephants. One day, an elephant stuck its trunk over the fence, so we all got to touch it. Unfortunately, when I tried to, it moved, so I ended up sticking my whole hand in its huge nostril. Naturally I didn't want elephant boogers all over my hand, so I tried to wipe it off on my mom, hoping she wouldn't notice what I was doing. She did.

There was also that one time (or quite a lot more than one) when I thought it was hilarious to jump on Rachel's back as she was laying on the floor doing homework. I always made sure to land knees first. That's the epitome of fun, right there.

I have this letter my neighbors wrote me when I was little. They say I was so cute when I danced around in my pink swimsuit singing the ABC's. Sounds like there's a story behind this...Either that or it was just an everyday occurrence.

Basically, you're all jealous that you couldn't be as awesome as I was when I was little. Don't try to deny it. You're probably still jealous of how awesome I am. And I'm jealous of you for having such a great person like me in your life.

Bad joke for the day: What's a cow's favorite subject in school?
Cowculus, moosic, and psycowlogy