Rejection

Something about Utah: When we ask people to high school dances, we don't do it halfway. None of that wimpy actually straight-up asking them! No, we do crazy, creative, awesome, and very very punny ways of asking.

Finding ways to ask is pretty easy. You just need to go to the grocery store late at night, when everything is funny, and pick random things off the shelves, and something is bound to come to you! Or if you want to go with something a little more coherent, you could always just try googling creative ways to ask people to dances.

But! What do you do when that awkward kid who's been stalking you from not quite afar asks you to the dance?! You can't actually GO with him! Obviously you must reject him. But how?

Well, worry no longer about how to say no. For your viewing pleasure, I present...

5 Creative Ways to Crush a Guy's Heart, Because You're Rejecting Him
1. Leave a plate of nachos on his doorstep, with a sign that says, "I'm NACHO date."
2. Give him a football, and say, "I think I'll pass on this one."
3. Leave a chair on his doorstep, with a poster that says, "I'm going to sit this one out."
4. Type up a little piece of paper that says, "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't want to go to the dance with you," and stick it inside a balloon to give to him.
5. Give him a basket of bananas with a little sign that says, "I'd have to be bananas to go with you! No! Gross!"

As you can see, there are varying levels of sensitivity. Only for people you really despise should you use number 5. Well, if you're just a sadistic jerk, feel free to use it all you want, actually. Or I guess if you wanted to be a little nicer you could give him an umbrella and say, "Can I take a rain check on this one?"

Ladies, armed with this list, you will never have to be flustered and answer with, "Uh, I'm not going. Because...I'm anti-social!"