This Blog is all Completely Serious

Don't you just love it when people have no clue you're being sarcastic? In my math class today, some people were talking about the song Friday, by Rebecca Black, so I piped up and said, "Rebecca Black is my idol. I want to be just like her." So ridiculous no one would ever believe it, right? Wrong. Half the people in the room turn around and stare at me, shocked. "Um, not really. JK." Do they think I'm an idiot now? Probably. But there's this crazy new thing, called not-saying-exactly-what-you-mean-at-all-times-and-sometimes-even-joking. Gasp! Revolutionary!

Personally, I think it sounds dangerous. If people start joking around and lightening up, what will this world come to? People might actually start laughing, and we don't want that, now do we? It's much better for nobody to have any sense of humor at all. That'll solve all the world's problems ever. I'm sure of it. Speaking of things I'm sure of...

I'm sure that sugar is ruining society, and should be banned. Congress might as well just make it into a law. It would be really popular. I'm sure that all high school students get at least 10 hours of sleep a night. Homework doesn't take them that long, and if they say it does, they're liars. I'm sure I'm going to be miserable on the a'capella trip (that starts next Friday!). Too much happiness and laughter and fun. Blech. To the random kid in my math class: I'm sure that swearing excessively when your shot into the trash can misses will solve all your problems and magically make you a better shot. It'll probably cure cancer, so you better keep doing it.

Bottom line: This sarcasm thing is the worst. Ever. Nobody should be allowed to do it. Personally, I know I'll never use it. It's just a waste of language. As long as Congress is banning sugar, they should also ban sarcasm. It'll make the world a better place.