Tales of Provo

OK, so you know how everyone says BYU is dating/marriage crazy? I thought surely it wouldn't be as bad as everyone said, because how could it be, right? Well, I'm here to tell you it really is that bad. On our very first day, at new student orientation, the president was giving some speech, and talked about the importance of balancing all aspects of life, whether it be academic, spiritual, or social. Then, while talking about social lives, to a group of freshman, he started lecturing us on the importance of dating! That really happened!

I think the girls here, in general, are worse than the guys. My roommates and I have actually had people ask us, "So, do you want to get married this year?" and, "Are you getting married your freshman or your sophomore year?" Those are apparently my only two choices. Teen marriage or nothing! I mean, what's the point of even getting married after you're 20? By then you're an old lady, and your biological clock just keeps on ticking. Pretty soon I'll be obsolete. I mean, I was still around when there was a whole other planet in the sky! So I'd better get married soon, before I'm too old. However, to do that I have to look fantastic every day. Apparently it's a thing here to wear heels with jeans, and my roommate thinks it's the dumbest thing ever, so one day she asked a girl why everyone was so dressed up. The girl's reply was, "Well, what if you meet your eternal companion, and he sees you in just jeans and a t-shirt?" If that's the criteria for getting married, I've got no hope.

Another thing that everybody says down here is, "And it's free, so a great date idea!" I'm keeping track of all the crazy dating/marriage things down here on my phone, so I put that in. Then I realized that quote has to be attributed to everyone, because everyone says it all the time! Apparently that's the first thing people's minds automatically jump to if they hear about something that's free.

Some of my other favorite things from this list I've been keeping are, "Not only a great way to do service and expand your social circle, but find your eternal companion as well," from the BYUSA president (also at freshman orientation), a dating game (another thing at freshman orientation), and a free magazine with pages of dating ideas and kissing tips. This magazine just showed up outside everyone's apartment one day, along with some other ads.

Because my roommates and I are the greatest people ever, we brought brownies around to a lot of people in the ward. One of these people happens to be an RM, and we ended up staying and talking to him for a while. He said it's weird being in a freshman ward (he's an RA, and that's why he's here), because everyone thinks that just because he's an RM, marriage must be the only thing on his mind. He said how obviously that isn't true, then proceeded to tell us all about his plans for taking out every single girl in the ward, how his married friends say it's great and how he wants to get married, and all about his kissing preferences. For an hour!

The other night at about midnight, I heard singing outside my apartment, in the parking lot or something. It was a bunch of guys singing Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid, the part about, "Look like the boy too shy, ain't gonna kiss the girl." Then they stopped singing, and pretty soon they were all cheering instead. Because nothing adds more to a romantic moment than your date's friends popping out of a bush and singing at you, then cheering as he kisses you out of peer pressure.

And that, my friends, is Provo.

(No, but really, I'm loving it here.)